notesfromthetrenchesIII

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Thursday, March 31, 2005

Scenes From A Chinese Restaurant

Scene: 4yr old standing on his chair waving around a craw fish he has speared with his chopstick

4 yr old (yelling,just before flinging it off his chopstick and across the table):


I do NOT eat disgusting things. And this is definitely a disgusting thing.


********************

Scene: 1 yr old splashing in melted ice cream dish with her spoon

Rob: oh, don't do that! It is so messy.

takes spoon away from toddler, screaming ensues

Rob: Pretend you are a kitty. Show Daddy how the kitty drinks.

1 yr old dunks entire face into the bowl of icecream.

Rob: Oh good job! Hurray for the little kitty.

Me: Are you insane?


*************************************************

4yr old (again standing on the chair, yelling):

Why does everyone have a dick?!? Dick! Dick! I want a dick! I want two dicks!

Me: They are sticks, sssssssssticks. Chop ssssticks. Try to say the "s" at the beginning. Chop-stick chop-stick...

4 yr old: I want a chapped dick!

Me: Oh good, that was much better.

71 Comments:

Anonymous Ruth said...

Hi Chris

I can always rely on you for a laugh. I was howling over this blog today. Sort of reminds me of the time I took my two youngest twins to the Christmas carol concert......They didn't go again.
Ruth ( Home schooler of 7 kids in the UK. Also with a house perpetually under renovation lol)

5:46 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

HA! Gotta love kids! I wish I was there.... I bet everyone around you thought it was hysterical!

6:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If I had been there, I would have taken my two children and gotten the heck out! How obnoxious - my kids would never behave like that!









APRIL FOOL! Ha, we never go out to eat hardly - and I only have two! They are kids alright and how you share about them is treasured by me!
HUGS!

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Blogger J said...

Oh, Oh! I've got one:

Jonathan, 3 years old, Mexican restaurant, at the top of his lungs, naturally: Aaaugh! My burrito is full of dog poop!

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Blogger Jody said...

Hilarious, and i can so relate!!

We rarely go out to dinner now. Just too much chaos.

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Blogger MoMMY said...

Hysterical! Reminds me a bit of my last post. In our case, 'Dick' was a potato that had been named. I just thank GOD we were in our own home and no one else had to experience the conversation.

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Blogger Julie said...

One of the funniest blogs I have yet read.

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Blogger Chris said...

Anonymous, that was a good one! For a minute I was wondering why someone was being so mean! LOL

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Blogger Mandy said...

I am seriously laughing too hard to type what I am thinking. I would ask my husband to type it but he is on the floor laughing too!

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Oh my, I'm going to pee my pants I'm laughing so hard!!!

Thank you so much for writing this, it's fab :)

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LOL- reminds me of the time my godson came into the house, tears streaming down his face, because "Frankie (best friend) stole my dick! Mine was bigger than his, so he stole it!" Man, I was laughing so hard...

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Dear Chris,

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