My New Best Friend

This past weekend I was shopping in Target. ( God I love that store. I am both thankful and heartbroken that the closest one is an hour away from me.) I only had my 1 yr old and the baby with me.

I was holding the baby and looking at stuff I didn't know I needed or wanted until I saw it on the shelf, when a woman came up to me and asked me if the baby I was holding was my own. This was a new and slightly odd question.

I told her he was in fact mine and anwered one month when she asked how old he was.

The she said, "Wow, how can you have a baby so young and be so small and skinny."

And then I grabbed her and kissed her.

And then I made her pinky promise to be, like, my best friend forever. I told her we could go over to their fine jewelry department and buy one of those best friend necklaces. She could wear one half of the heart and I could wear the other half.

I had some other ideas, but she was in a pretty big rush to finish her shopping.

She seemed slightly disturbed as I kept following her around the store, but I told her she is my new best friend and I will not be ignored.


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And now a quiz.

When your wife tries on the jeans she just bought and asks you how they look, the correct response is:

a) They look so good I want to rip them off you right here and now and have hot sex with you.

b) I am sure they will look fine once you lose the rest of the weight you gained. How many more pounds do you have to go?

c) Wow, they look great. How did I get so lucky to have such a beautiful wife as you?

d) Fine.

e) Anything else that pops into your head EXCEPT for b.