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Monday, January 03, 2005

To My Children...

the same ones I claimed to adore in my last post.

Yes, I do make dinners you hate on purpose.

In fact, I stay awake at night scheming and plotting in my kitchen, trying to come up with the most offensive food combinations.

Tonight I hit the jackpot.

Who knew homemade macaroni and cheese with broccoli was so extremely vile as to cause screams, cries, and spontaneous leg spasms causing you, one of the objects of my unfaltering adoration, to involuntarily collapse to the floor.

Do not worry those of you who ran through the kitchen, pausing only long enough to express your disgust. And you may want to perfect your tantrums and insults.

The best thing about no one eating dinner is that there are plenty of leftovers.

Mommy Dearest gets a day off from cooking dinner tomorrow. I will be using that extra time to check your closets for wire hangers.


Blogger thicket dweller said...

I thought I was the bestest, most cleverest mommy in the whole world when I found Tasha Tudor's awesome recipe for macaroni and cheese. Complete with Vermont White Cheddar! I loved it. My children...well, I guess they're blue-box kids. :-/

Listening to the tantrums, too...

Thicket Dweller

12:10 AM  
Blogger Mrs. Darling said...

Oh boy I do so hear you. I get so tired of the kdis never wanting to eat whats put before them. And they have no sympathy for the starving kids across the ocean that I always threaten to send their plates to.

3:24 PM  
Blogger dihoon said...

Just yesterday I was called an "evil mother" by my darling son because I "never ever make things we like for dinner." Major tantrums ensued. Right. As if I enjoy sloppy joes and tacos and mac and cheese night after night. Ah, but someday, my personal chef Sven will make only things that I like. Someday!

4:24 PM  

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