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Friday, January 07, 2005

In A Funk

I feel like I have nothing to say lately. Rob asked me last night why I haven't been posting much of anything recently. Truth is I have been feeling bogged down by day to day life, the everydayness of life, the sameness of the days. I have a few posts saved as drafts, but they seem horribly boring.

I feel like I could be knocked unconcious and come to three days from now and I wouldn't even notice.

I have the same conversations:

'Yes, you NEED to brush your teeth EVERYDAY, because I am a mean mother who likes to torture you by making you have clean cavity free teeth and thus deprive you of the experience of having your teeth drilled.'

'Your shirt is not a not a napkin (tissue, rope, weapon... insert whichever is appropriate in the given circumstance)'

'If I step in pee on the bathroom floor one more time I am going to make all of you pee outside in the snow... (pause) ... no it wouldn't be fun... (pause)... no it wouldn't... (pause)... don't you kow how cold it is outside? (pause)... fine, pee outside.'

'You need to wear boots outside in the snow. I am not going to take you to the ER when your toes turn black from frostbite. What? (pause) I don't care how badly you had to pee!'

'You tracked snow and mud in through the entire house and left all your stuff in a puddle. Please clean it up and put it all away. (pause)I realize you are cold, but cleaning all your crap up will warm you up. Really it will.'

'Time to clean up your toys'

'Time to clean up your toys'

'Time to clean up your toys'

'Please don't force me to make empty threats about throwing the toys away, smashing them, eating them, giving them more deserving children, setting them ablaze... just clean them up.'

'Who did play with them if it wasn't you?'

' Well next time tell NotMe and IdaKnow that they need to clean them up before they leave.'

I do the same things:

Pick couch cushions up off floor and return them to couch
Clean the bathrooms
Wash clothes
Dry clothes
Fold clothes
Put clothes away
Wonder why the hell they have so many clothes
Pick couch cushions up off the floor and return them to couch
Make nutritious meals three times a day
Ignore my children while they complain about aforementioned nutritious food
Pick couch cushions up off the floor and return them to the couch
Help children do schoolwork
Find eldest child who has a knack for hiding when it is time to do schoolwork
Pick couch cushions up off the floor and return them to couch
Try to find ringing telephone
Decide they will call back if it is important
Load dishwasher
Turn it on
Turn it on again when realize 1 yr old has turned it off
Turn it on again when realize 1 yr old has turned it off
Try to distract 1 yr old
Unload dishwasher
Realize distraction of 1 yr old was not successful and all dishes are still unwashed
Turn dishwasher on again
Pick couch cushions up off the floor and return them to couch
Wash pencil off of walls where 1yr old has colored on them
Take pencil away from 1 yr old
Ten minutes later give pencil back when it becomes apparent I would rather wash walls, floors, furniture, cabinets, than listen to her screams
Pick couch cushions up off the floor and return them to couch
Give 4 yr old gum to leave me alone for a minute to type
Sense a pattern, but decide not to think about it
Play trains
Play with Imaginext
Curse the Imaginext makers as the pieces will not withstand the playing of the 4 and 5 yr olds
Play with other assorted toys
Pick up the couch cushions and throw them on the damn couch
Change what feels like the thousandth diaper of the day
Think we should buy stock in the diaper and wipes companies
Remember we have no extra money because we go through so many diapers and wipes everyday
Ignore couch cushions on the floor and step on them while walking through the room like everyone else
Find ringing phone
Respond "nothing" when husband asks what are you doing.
On the verge of deciding I am being punished for something horrible I did in a past life
Get hit in the head by a folded up, covered with an entire roll of tape, piece of paper
Spend ten minutes trying to open the piece of paper
Read the note from my 5 yr old, "I LOVE YOU MOM" covering every square inch of the paper
Decide I couldn't have been all that bad in my past life
See 1 yr old walk into room naked, holding a poopie diaper
Resolve to live this life better


Blogger khadijah said...

had to set up a blog to comment!
i can so relate to this post, with only 4 children, (newborn to 5)!
it's a kind of beautiful predictability though, just the way it should be.
i love it and hate it, but it is so 'right'.
for our children, and us, it has to be this way - look what happens when the world has a change in pattern, it impacts humans and nature in a massive way...
just started reading yesterday, so hope to keep on learning from you!

2:44 PM  
Blogger Paula said...

#1--You're not alone. As usual, you said what I think, but funnier. Especially those couch cushions. I love my loose back cushion couch, but spend a lot of time telling people to put the cushions back NOW. My blog isn't too scintillating either, but most people's day to day lives aren't that interesting. When dh asked me the other morning "So what are you going to do today?" it took all of my self-restraint not to make a saracastic comment, and then I did say "Besides cook and clean up after and care for our 7 children?" LOL

#2--Do you have many SAHM friends IRL that you can visit/commiserate with? That helped me a lot when I lived in AZ and had a great network of woman friends in similar situations. Now I don't have that here in MI and I miss it. Most women my age have moved on, as they stopped having babies and their kids are now older, so our lives are very different. I know some young moms, in their 20s, but at 40 my life is different from theirs too.

#3--You sound blue. Do you think you're suffering from a little ppd? Do you get many breaks? Try to get out by yourself or with your dh if possible. Having been sick may make you feel depressed too.

You're not boring!!

2:45 PM  
Blogger Jody said...

Oh, Chris I am so in touch with all of that. I am sorry you are feeling that way. I feel very hum drum lately too. I absolutley love my life, but it does seem to be the same thing day in and day out. I think that is why 40 is freaking me out a bit.

Lucky me (ha ha), I have a PA for a husband, and he has diagnosed me with Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD). I am not depressed, just feel so overwhelmed and full of anxiety. He's probably right (damn it), because I seem to fit all the symptoms, but I don't seem to have it until AFTER my period is over. Probably the nursing is throwing it all out of balance.
I am taking a B-complex, Magnesium and Calcium to help ward it off.

Having a baby and nursing are such hormonally altering events, and it just takes some time to work through it completely.

If it helps, I also pick up the couch cushions at least 5 times a day. The final time I usually have a tantrum as my 4yo gawks at me in silence.


4:41 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...


5:19 PM  
Blogger Mandy said...

I am so sorry you are feeling down, but I had to giggle over the dishwasher drama.

It has been acted out in this house too many times to count and I have only just now gotten my now 2 year old ds to leave it alone by letting him load it, "help" with the soap, close it and start it. Even so, he is now obsessed with starting the darn thing so it is not uncommon for us to wash an empty dishwasher. ...sigh...
I hope things perk up for you soon!

6:47 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Darling said...

Hey I so understand. I used to have thsoe sleeve covers on the arms of the couch and throw pillows. One day I ws trying how to lessen the stress and I realized I was putting those things on a hundred time s a dy. So off with the throw pillows and the sleeves. They are gone. It's saved me gobs of time. But I know what you mean about feeling like you never get anything done but repeating what you jsu tdid. It's nice to know that we're not alone!

6:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Everyone has days when they are down, worn out, health anxiety and just not feeling all that happy.

That's OK, you need to have days like this, otherwise how would you know when you are happy. You need to have something to contrast your happiness with. What is black without white?

Even though you know that sadness (health anxiety) is a part of life, let's try to make it a small part of life.

With that said, here are a few tips to help you feel better when you are feeling down in the dumps. They are easy to do, easy to practice every day and they work!

1. Stand up straight, sit up straight. When your body is in alignment your energy can flow and when your energy is flowing freely, you can flow.

2. Smile! Yes, just smile. Easy to do and effective.

3. Repeat positive affirmations. Things like "I feel good", "Positive energy flows through my body", "I see the good in all".

4. Listen to some music that you like. It doesn't have to be anything specific, just something you enjoy. Certain types of music work better than others, but experiment and see what works for you. Studies have shown that Classical music and new age music work best.

5. Take some time out for yourself, relax and read a book, do something for yourself.

6. Meditate. Meditation is an excellent habit to develop. It will serve you in all that you do. If you are one who has a hard time sitting still, then try some special meditation CDs that coax your brain into the meditative state. Just search for "Meditation music" on Google or Yahoo and explore.

Our outside work is simply a reflection of our inside world. Remember there is no reality just your perception of it. Use this truth to your advantage. Whenever you are sad, realize that it is all in your mind and you do have the power to change your perception.

These tips will lift you up when you are down, but don't just use them when you are sad or health anxiety . Try and practice them everyday, make them a habit. You will be surprised at how these simple exercises will keep the rainy days away.

On a final note, if you are in a deep depression that you can't seem to shake, please go see a doctor. This is your life and don't take any chances. health anxiety

10:04 AM  
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Blogger BabelBabe said...

Ohmigod, I LOVE you, if only so I know that I am not the only mother obsessed with returning the couch cushions TO THE COUCH. or should I say, not the only mother with kids obsessed with REMOVING the couch cushions from the couch?

9:53 PM  
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