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Monday, July 25, 2005

To The Person Who Called My House at 9:43 am

I apologize that you were not greeted with the customary hello.

I imagine it was quite shocking to instead be treated to the sounds of two small children screaming, crying and fighting, as well as an older child screaming "shut-up! Shut-up! I can't hear my computer!" in the background. I promise I am not running a torture chamber over here, despite the seeming evidence to the contrary.

Sometimes my two year old decides to answer the telephone before I can get to it. Normally this is not a problem as I am standing right next to her and she immediately hands the phone to me so I can say hello. No one is any the wiser.

Today, however, I was out of the room when the phone rang. My 2 year old answered the phone and the 4 year old tried to wrestle it out of her hands. The screams you heard were her fighting for dear life to hang on to it. The loud thumps were her her hitting her brother over the head with the receiver. That was followed by his screams.

Wisely you decided to hang up, probably because the shrill screaming pierced your eardrums, rendering you deaf.

Feel free to call back at another time.

On second thought, don't call back. They have finally stopped screaming and I am not up for a second round this early in the day.

Have a nice day.


Anonymous Chuck said...

Yea we solved that by not letting them get to the phone or ever touching it and now we have to deal with a 15 year old with all the phone grace of a cow.


Think caller id, handy at times.

11:49 AM  
Blogger halloweenlover said...

It was me! I figured something like that happened : )

Good for the two year old! She has to stick up for herself with a house full of boys! Take that! And that!

12:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ha ha

One day our phone did not get properly hung up and I was panic stricken thinking back to what the person may have heard. I'm sure our house also sounds like a torture chamber sometimes!

Everyone says how calm and patient I am.....I try to tell them that this is not always the case. They should be here during the many traumas and wrestling matches the kids have.

12:08 PM  
Blogger Bernadette said...

How dare you leave the room!

12:40 PM  
Blogger Melanie said...

Chris, you have such a way with words, and your children certainly give you plenty to write about. I find myself truly LOLing at many of your posts, and then I have to read them to DH as he wants to know why I'm laughing!

12:43 PM  
Blogger nextcommercial said...

SEE??? If you hadn't been all badmouthy about caller ID this woulda never happened. Keep this phone answering techinique in mind for the next telemarketer though.

5:49 PM  
Anonymous MelissaLCT said...

Hey, how about when your 8 year old picks up the phone and tells the person on the other end: "mommy can't talk to you, she has her period and Daddy says everybody needs to be nice and not bother her". Yeah, that totally made my day. Must drink now.

6:42 PM  
Blogger KatherineMary said...

Growing up with five older brothers, I understand that you must hit them with whatever you have on hand. You must hit them whenever you get the chance, because they don't come often. You must remind them at every opportunity that you are indeed, the boss, even if you're smaller.

Ahhhhhh memories.

10:38 AM  
Anonymous Kristie said...

Ha! I just have to tell you, you totally crack me up. I have been following your site for months now and have gone back and read every single journal entry. I know, I know, you're thinking, "stalker", but really, I'm not. (Ok, maybe just a little, but at least I'm laughing while I'm doing it, right?) Just wanted to post a comment -- finally -- to let you know how much I enjoy your writing. My online journal isn't through blogger, but feel free to stop by anytime. In the meantime, I'll keep stalking, I mean, following along on your adventures. Thanks for sharing. :)

11:12 PM  
Blogger another lisa said...

We have different telephone issues now that we have 5 teens (aka ages 14-21) in our house... we finally gave in and got a cordless phone... but they keep taking it to different places and it gets lost constantly... plus they won't deign to answer the phone 'cause its "not for them"... so basically the phone rarely gets answered here!

12:46 AM  
Blogger rugdesigner said...

I would so love to call your house just to hear that... :)

9:31 AM  
Anonymous Racheal said...

I just read from today backwards to this post. Very funny stuff! Got here through punky_ma's site. ~

1:10 PM  
Anonymous joel said...

Those of you that have children know what an excursion to the local mall or supermarket can be like. if you're not careful, this simple trip can easily become a wallet draining experience.
Link to this site: parenting aggressive child

3:02 AM  

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