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Monday, July 18, 2005

Evidence That Will One Day Be Used Against Me

My oldest son had, say it with me now, another baseball game. Rob took him and all the boys to the game. I opted to stay home. Since the game is an hour away from our house and they need to "warm up"an hour before the game, it turns it into an all day long affair. I just couldn't stand outside in the blistering heat, holding a sweaty squirming 7 month old and chasing a two year old around.

Just strip me of my Nike sneakers, because I JUST. COULDN'T. DO. IT.

I decided to stay home and relax. Oh and to grout the tile in our sunroom, because a 2 year old and 7 month old are the perfect helpers for this type of job. Of course they will sit quietly and watch the Wiggles, for 30 seconds.

At one point my two year old was sitting on top of our piano in the adjacent room throwing CD's across the room like small frisbees and clapping for herself. And I found myself saying things like, "Wow, what a good throw. You're good at that!" Because it was either that or have her playing in the tub of wet grout and trying to dig it back out of the floor with her fingernails.

And then when she wanted to have a snack for the twentieth time that hour I suggested that she go get one herself. When she poured an entire box of Honey Nut Cheerios out onto the area rug and the two of them climbed into it eating it by the wet fistsfull, I said, "Oh, yummy yummy!"

Other memorable things I said.

"Please don't paint on the baby's back with the grout!"

"Don't dunk your head in the bucket of dirty water!"

"Go look out the window in the other room and tell me if you see an elephant. Are you sure? Well keep looking, maybe it's hiding." This one bought me at least five minutes. And because I am mean I used it several times successfully.

My two littles successfully trashed several rooms in the house. When Rob came home he surveyed the mess and declared it looked like a frat party gone bad. Very, very bad.

I question whether the medication I am now taking, my crazy drug, is working at all. Because all evidence this weekend points to the fact that I am, in fact, still nuts.

But I do have a nice floor.

The Floor
Originally uploaded by the big yellow house.


Blogger Sarah said...

The floor looks great-I just might try that elephant idea-I've made an art out of thinking of ways to distract my kids.

10:41 AM  
Blogger Kate said...

I love the floor. I know you are not a TV fan but TLC has a show, Property Ladder, about people flipping houses and the trials of home remodeling etc. It is a good series but yesterday the woman trying to re-do the house had her 3 year old with her every day. The camera man loved the little boy but you could see that 3 year old and home repair don't mix.

11:08 AM  
Blogger halloweenlover said...

I commented on your pic, but I am totally impressed! I am dying to redo the floor in our basement which is a disgusting, humid and moldy carpet. I love the tiles. Was it difficult? Did you have to take a class or anything?

1:16 PM  
Blogger Chris said...


No, it isn't difficult at all. We have done several rooms of tile. Having two people doing the work together is preferable, I was just being impatient on Saturday.

Originally I bought a book at Home Depot about how to tile and read through it. It really is easy and straight forward... however, my back and thighs are killing me from crouching down all day.

I think you should just go for it!

1:33 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

Awesome! I'm so using the elephant line.

1:34 PM  
Blogger momma of 2 said...

Sure, now I find the secret to do-it-yourself projects when kids are involved..elephants outside the window! I am going to use that. The floor looks great!

2:33 PM  
Blogger Sleeping Mommy said...

Ooooo pretty floor!

And all that other stuff. I wish I was like that with my kids. Willing to just let it go and encourage it. Good with distraction. Instead I get wrapped up and uptight. No fun for the kids and no fun for mommy.

3:50 PM  
Blogger halloweenlover said...

thanks Chris!

I just went on Home Depot's website, and lo and behold, there is a "You Can Lay Ceramic Tile" workshop this Sunday! I think I will go, just for some confidence, and then ask the husband to tile with me for my birthday. Great present, no?

Thanks for the tip!

4:46 PM  
Anonymous Heather said...

We search for monsters out our window. And when my two-year-old actually "finds" one, I ask her what color it is and then tell her I meant a different one. Maybe I do deserve that Meanest Mom Award my 7-year-old is constantly attributing to me. ;)

6:11 PM  
Blogger fannie said...

You are my HERO!

7:38 PM  
Blogger Sorka said...

Ohhh! It looks great! You can come do my floor any time and I will watch the littles!! They can play with my littles!! OI!

8:45 PM  
Anonymous cheryllu said...

Hi. I've been reading your blog for a bit -- you consistently make me laugh out loud. Thank you! I had to comment on your beautiful tile floor. I think I have the same tile in my sunroom; we had ours installed by a "professional" last year when we added on to our home -- and yours looks just like ours does. I'm so impressed you took this on yourself! (My sis-in-law sells flooring, and said that this was discontinued when we bought it. If this is the same tile -- is it wavy on the sides rather than straight? -- we may have a few extras laying around here if you still need them.)
- Cheryl, mom to 6 kids, ages 18 months to almost 9 years old, in southern WI

9:43 PM  
Blogger buffi said...

Oh, yeah- the floor looks awesome. I knew it would! And, oh I am so using the elephant thing. I might even get the laundry folded!

10:18 PM  
Blogger Bernadette said...

Feel free to join me in the group of "bad" Little League mothers. How odd that we all have lots of children?!

I think the floor looks wonderful!

11:29 PM  
Blogger Meg said...

What a nice floor!

1:30 PM  
Blogger Paula said...

Don't feel bad for "dividing and conquering!" As your kids get older it gets more and more difficult for both parents to attend sporting events due to more conflicts. Truthfully, even without conflicts I often don't go if it won't be a positive experience/environment for the little ones (bad weather--hot or cold or rainy, naptime, too long of an event, etc.) or we get a grandparent, older sibling or babysitter to stay with the littles if it's something really important.

I have wanted to ask you for a while how on earth you and your hubby do big renovation projects together with all the kids there. Thanks for filling me in! Mine are older than yours, and I have an older daughter who is great at taking care of the little ones, and it still doesn't happen. Between diaper changes, constant eating, putting kids down for naps, and driving kids places, I only have a few free minutes at a time to help, so usually D. does the work and I tend the kids.

11:41 PM  
Anonymous Lizzie said...

I love your parenting tactics...had to laugh at the elephant hunt, though...and awesome job on the floor, btw!

10:49 AM  
Anonymous Libragril said...

More things you never thought you would hear yourself say (to my nephews)

Don't sit on your brothers head

Hey, little man, stop singing and dancing and finish watching Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

If you want to swordfight, fine, but use the swords, not my shoes.

Boys are strange creatures

Love the floor

9:23 AM  
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3:14 AM  
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