Context Is Everything
Son: Mom, I can't help it, I just love to screw. I love screwing. Don't you just love screwing?
Me: Not on my table I don't love screwing.
Son: Well, I do. I love screwing on a table, on a chair, on the floor, on anything that is hard really. It's just so fun. I love the holes. It's fun to screw in the holes.
Me: (trying not to laugh) I just don't think I can carry on this conversation any longer, enough with the hole screwing.
Son: Why? Don't you like to screw holes?
Me: (laughing) No, ...I mean yes, ...I mean I don't know.
Son: Well, Dad does.
Me: Yes, that is true.
Son: (yelling to me as I leave the room) Just call me the hole man from now on, because I love holes.
Me: Oh God help me.
(To put the story in context, it occurred right after I discovered someone had driven screws into my kitchen table. This is the reason, when your children do something incredibly stupid, you should never ask "why?", or at least never ask it in public.)
Me: Not on my table I don't love screwing.
Son: Well, I do. I love screwing on a table, on a chair, on the floor, on anything that is hard really. It's just so fun. I love the holes. It's fun to screw in the holes.
Me: (trying not to laugh) I just don't think I can carry on this conversation any longer, enough with the hole screwing.
Son: Why? Don't you like to screw holes?
Me: (laughing) No, ...I mean yes, ...I mean I don't know.
Son: Well, Dad does.
Me: Yes, that is true.
Son: (yelling to me as I leave the room) Just call me the hole man from now on, because I love holes.
Me: Oh God help me.
(To put the story in context, it occurred right after I discovered someone had driven screws into my kitchen table. This is the reason, when your children do something incredibly stupid, you should never ask "why?", or at least never ask it in public.)
15 Comments:
That is hilarious! I laughed so hard I cried - right here at my desk. Thank goodness everyone's at the company "picnic" (in the heat at a White Sox game - not my thing). Thanks for sharing all your wonderful stories.
I love screwing on a boat, I love screwing near a goat, I love screwing with a fox, I love screwing in a box....I love it when they don't realize what they are saying.
Ha ha! My favorite is when he said "Dad likes it" and I CANNOT BELIEVE you said he does! I hope he never ever realizes what he was saying : )
You made me crack up at my desk.
I was definitly laughing. Wow that would piss ya off about the screws in the table but after the conversation why you cant get mad.
lol!!!! That is hilarious. It was "show Bill worthy".
Lisa, you crack me up!
HAhahahahaahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!! (I will leave a comment when I can catch my breath)
Absolutely hilarious! Thanks for making me laugh this morning! :)
Okay, I just can't refrain from asking. Which one of them drove screws into our kitchen table? How big? How many? And can it be fixed??
Love you DW, thanks for the laugh.
I had to share this story with my husband who laughed uproariously from the shower as I told him. The things we have to look forward to with kids. YAY!
That is f--kin' awesome!
This is great! I put a link to it on my blog. So funny!
Oh dear god in heaven
Reminds me of the time my son said he heard something on the radio about sex and wanted to know what that was. I went into a modified version, all the while wondering how come his Dad didn't get the question, and at the end, I asked, "Just what did they say on the radio?"
Son's reply, "They said that an oyster can be both sexes."
Note to Self: Ask about context before giving long explanations! LOL
Oh Chris!!!!
That is just way TOO funny!!!!
How did you manage to keep a semi- straight face?!?!?!
Thank you for the laugh!!!
God Bless!!
~Penny
www.mama2fiveblessings.blogspot.com
My son was playing with this game "Screwy Louie" today and singing about screwing -- and I thought of this post!!! LOL! I have been lurking for a few days now and I can't tell you how much I love your writing style! I'm not crazy!! AND you have convinced me that maybe I WILL try for #3 in the spring..(for which DH thanks you!)
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