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Thursday, July 21, 2005

Context Is Everything

Son: Mom, I can't help it, I just love to screw. I love screwing. Don't you just love screwing?

Me: Not on my table I don't love screwing.

Son: Well, I do. I love screwing on a table, on a chair, on the floor, on anything that is hard really. It's just so fun. I love the holes. It's fun to screw in the holes.

Me: (trying not to laugh) I just don't think I can carry on this conversation any longer, enough with the hole screwing.

Son: Why? Don't you like to screw holes?

Me: (laughing) No, ...I mean yes, ...I mean I don't know.

Son: Well, Dad does.

Me: Yes, that is true.

Son: (yelling to me as I leave the room) Just call me the hole man from now on, because I love holes.

Me: Oh God help me.

(To put the story in context, it occurred right after I discovered someone had driven screws into my kitchen table. This is the reason, when your children do something incredibly stupid, you should never ask "why?", or at least never ask it in public.)


Blogger Jessica said...

That is hilarious! I laughed so hard I cried - right here at my desk. Thank goodness everyone's at the company "picnic" (in the heat at a White Sox game - not my thing). Thanks for sharing all your wonderful stories.

6:52 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

I love screwing on a boat, I love screwing near a goat, I love screwing with a fox, I love screwing in a box....I love it when they don't realize what they are saying.

7:36 PM  
Anonymous Jordana said...

Is the hole man also the penis drummer?

8:04 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

oh man, that is something you need on the video camera to show on his wedding day.....LOL!

8:10 PM  
Blogger halloweenlover said...

Ha ha! My favorite is when he said "Dad likes it" and I CANNOT BELIEVE you said he does! I hope he never ever realizes what he was saying : )

You made me crack up at my desk.

9:21 PM  
Blogger TBG said...

I was definitly laughing. Wow that would piss ya off about the screws in the table but after the conversation why you cant get mad.

9:30 PM  
Blogger Jody said...

lol!!!! That is hilarious. It was "show Bill worthy".

Lisa, you crack me up!

9:35 PM  
Blogger buffi said...

HAhahahahaahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!! (I will leave a comment when I can catch my breath)

10:12 PM  
Blogger Lizard Queen said...

Absolutely hilarious! Thanks for making me laugh this morning! :)

9:07 AM  
Blogger KatherineMary said...

they'll do it to you every time won't they.
omg! too funny girl.

10:04 AM  
Anonymous The dad who is said to like screwing said...

Okay, I just can't refrain from asking. Which one of them drove screws into our kitchen table? How big? How many? And can it be fixed??

Love you DW, thanks for the laugh.

10:49 AM  
Blogger halloweenlover said...

I had to share this story with my husband who laughed uproariously from the shower as I told him. The things we have to look forward to with kids. YAY!

11:02 AM  
Blogger Meg said...

That is f--kin' awesome!

12:47 PM  
Blogger Mom Nancy said...

This is great! I put a link to it on my blog. So funny!

4:21 PM  
Blogger Sleeping Mommy said...

Oh dear god in heaven

5:45 PM  
Blogger stephanie said...

ROTFLMAO- I just had to email this onwe out- to just about everyone I know. Too funny for words!

6:16 PM  
Anonymous Momnick8 said...

Reminds me of the time my son said he heard something on the radio about sex and wanted to know what that was. I went into a modified version, all the while wondering how come his Dad didn't get the question, and at the end, I asked, "Just what did they say on the radio?"

Son's reply, "They said that an oyster can be both sexes."

Note to Self: Ask about context before giving long explanations! LOL

2:34 AM  
Blogger Mama26blessings said...

Oh Chris!!!!
That is just way TOO funny!!!!
How did you manage to keep a semi- straight face?!?!?!
Thank you for the laugh!!!

God Bless!!

10:31 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

My son was playing with this game "Screwy Louie" today and singing about screwing -- and I thought of this post!!! LOL! I have been lurking for a few days now and I can't tell you how much I love your writing style! I'm not crazy!! AND you have convinced me that maybe I WILL try for #3 in the spring..(for which DH thanks you!)

9:07 PM  

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