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Saturday, June 04, 2005

A Fly On The Wall

If you are going to tell me to take a shortcut, you really need to tell me the direction in addition to the route number. I am directionally challenged and will not realize I am driving in the wrong direction until I leave the state.

"Well, Christine, it seems as though you have made up your mind and are not going to be happy until I give you an antibiotic prescription."

I am feeling like a junkie, pressuring the doctor for my drugs. "Gimme the prescription. I'm jonesin' for some amoxicillin"


No they're not all my kids. I thought it would be fun to bring other people's kids to my doctor appointment so that we could have the fun of all trying to cram into this teeny tiny room and touch all the fragile equipment.
Really? My blood pressure is slightly elevated? I wonder why.


Could I put some of those dog flea and tick collars on the kids?


I took the kids out to eat after my appointment at a real restaurant... one with a dedicated kids menu, paper placemats to color on, and plastic covered menus, but a real restaurant nonetheless. I heard several people count the number of children out loud while pointing, a practice I find very odd. I am unsure what I am supposed to do when they are doing that. Congratulate them for being able to count to seven?

Rob, attempting to paint while I nursed the baby, "I am just not as good at painting as you are. You are just such a good painter. Oh look, it's splashing everywhere. I am ruining my clothes. You are so good at this, it's unbelievable. I'm getting vertigo on this rickety ladder. You make this look so easy. My tendonitis is acting up in my elbow."

Me, "How about you just say you don't want to do it? I can totally see past your empty flattery."

Rob, getting down from the ladder, "Well, if you're going to be like that."


Later on.

Rob, bemoaning the state of the kitchen while cleaning it up.

Me, "Wow, you are so good at cleaning up the kitchen. I can never do it as well as you. You don't splash the water from the sink all over the floor. It's incredible, really. I have never really cared enough to line the kids water bottles up on the counter in a perfectly straight line, in alphabetical order no less. But when you do it, it seems effortless."

Rob, "Do I sense some sarcasm in your voice?"


"We screened the back porch in to keep the bugs out. When you leave the screen door open it defeats the whole purpose. And, frankly, it aggravates the crap out of me."

"Now, leaning on the screens so that they form a permanent impression of your face, that's not aggravating at all."


Blogger kristal said...

What is up with the counting thing? I took the kids to the farmer's market yesterday. One of my kids was with my sister, but another one brought a friend so we still had seven. I must have been asked about 10 times whether they were all mine. And the POINTING. The kids kept looking at me and whispering "Those people are talking about us." "Those people are counting us." "Those people are pointing. How rude!"

When we got home, one of the girls told me "Why do we have to have such a big family? The grown ups are ALWAYS looking at us so we have to behave all the time." "But you don't," I replied. "Yeah, but... never mind. I forgot about that part."

I don't have any friends with more than three kids, so it is so nice to visit here and read about your big family.

Is this comment long enough yet?

9:20 AM  
Blogger Jody said...

The counting thing is so weird. In Target a couple of weeks ago, I heard someone counting my kids out loud, and when she got to 4 I finished for her. She abruptly shut her mouth and hurried away with her little cart.

If you were a real antibiotic junkie, you would ask for a CBC and a shot of Rocephin everytime you took a kid to the doc with fever over 103, like I do. ;*) Dr. Tim even asks me "So, here is what I think....what would YOU like me to do?"

Hope the antibiotics do their job and keep the LD at bay.

10:11 AM  
Anonymous Lauren said...

Don't you just love the "You have HOW many children?" Or the open oogling as you walk by? I personally like to say, "Yes yes we are adding to our minion army. They shall RULE the world!!" or "We are making our own soccer team". bah =)

10:14 AM  
Blogger susie said...

We have four. I still get the same question. They all look like me. WHY would someone ask if they were all mine when they ALL look like me? Ok. One has brownish hair and the baby has blue eyes that look brown, but still.

Irritates the heck out of me. I think they have nothing else to say. It is worse when dh is with me. I guess 6 people walking into some place with 5 of them all looking the same, just different sizes, is some sort of oddity.

10:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The answer to the counting issue, is to listen to them finish and when they arrive at a number, say .. Did you say 6, are you sure?, can you help me look for the others? Usually shuts them right up.

10:53 AM  
Blogger millennium hippies said...

you could always do a count of the people in their group and give them a very sad look as if you feel sorry for them, because they don't have as many loved ones as you do!

love the driving directions bit...i'm the same way, i'll drive forever the wrong way! i hate that!

11:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's true, stupid people do live everywhere. Phew, I was beginning to worry that it was a Carolina thing!
A friend told me about this family. Check out their site.

Just imagine people trying to count their kids!

11:59 AM  
Anonymous eli said...

"I am directionally challenged and will not realize I am driving in the wrong direction until I leave the state."

HA HA HA! That is SO me, and I put a compass in the car and that does so not help :-P I was in the next state over about two weeks ago having got all turned around coming back from the airport...

I could NOT handle having more children because I would be going ballistic ON people who count children! How very RUDE! (I actually wish I had had many more ;-))

12:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Please don't stone me, but I think that if I saw a family with a lot of kids I would at least look twice, too. I'm sure I would because first, families that large aren't something I see every day, and also, I would think it was neat. I'd most definitely be envious, because I'd love to be able to afford to have a big family. Huge, even!

And all sorts of thoughts would go through my head such as, "I can't make my own two behave in public! How can she manage?" Or, "I wonder what kind of car they have to drive?"

I know some people that you encounter probably are being mean or scornful, etc. but I bet a lot are like me. I wouldn't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable, but it would be hard to just "not notice" a large family!

2:52 PM  
Blogger Melanie said...

Loved your entries today! I only have 4 children, but I get the comments, too, usually "Are they all yours?" Funny you had that entry today 'cause I talked about those comments in my blog yesterday!

7:24 PM  
Blogger Silly Old Bear said...

On the counting, would it be rude to yell to your kids to "scramble up" when they are halfway through? Keep em guessing.

10:27 AM  
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