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Saturday, June 11, 2005

Alas, There Was No Snowman With His Hat Blown Off

Yesterday I spent a good portion of the day bemoaning the fact that I could not connect to the internet wirelessly, unless I sat right next to the router. Which defeats the whole purpose of having a router. A fact that the first customer service representative in India could not grasp.

"But, what is your problem? You can connect wirelessly, no?"

"Why, yes I can. IF I AM TOUCHING IT. And that, for me, is a problem."

Things slowly and steadily went downhill from there.

They had me download things. They had me turn my computer on and off. Disconnect from the router. Reconnect the router. Do the same thing over and over again. Which I think is part of the plan, to wear you down and aggravate you so that you'll just go buy another one.

The second woman told me it had probably stopped working because it had interference from my microwave. Which is an interesting theory, considering that my router is on the third floor of my house far away from my kitchen... and oh yeah, I DON'T OWN A MICROWAVE.

For my third customer representative I had a man who laughed. Every suggestion he had for me to try he would laugh while he said it. I didn't think that was a good sign.

The next man had me unplug my router from the outlet, plug it back in, push the reset button down for 20 seconds, and then repeat the process three times. Being the dutiful customer that I am, I did it, though it seemed rather absurd. It didn't work.

His next suggestion, "Do it again, but this time push the reset button for 30 seconds each time."

"Do you think that is really going to work?"

"No, I don't think so. But what are you going to do?"

"I could try banging my head on my keyboard. If it doesn't work at least I might become unconscious and not have to deal with this anymore."

"Well, you can try."

Who says customer service representatives don't have a sense of humor.

When I called back for the final time I got the brutally honest customer service representative.
He asked me two questions, "Are the lights on or off on your router?"

I told him that they were blinking.

"And when did you buy this router?"

I answered truthfully, two years ago.

"Ah well your router is no good. You need a new one. It is not under warranty any longer. So go buy a new one. Don't call anymore, I can't help you."

I think he may have said, "Sucks to be you!" but I was laughing too hard.

Rob went out this morning and bought me a new and better router. I think my withdrawal symptoms were frightening him. Either that or he realized he was going to have to talk way too much to me every night and that I would complain bitterly at his tv viewing habits. Which in a nutshell can be explained as turning the channel every time a commercial comes on and never quite making it back to the same show.

I am now back to relaxing on the couch with my laptop. My connection is fast. And there is no interference from my non existent microwave.


Blogger aka_Meritt said...

I loved this entry...
Having been there myself too many times to count on numerous different versions of the same story I was right there with ya.

Glad your router is workiong!

10:14 PM  
Anonymous Jordana said...

I'm glad your new router is allowing things to zip along again.

But no microwave?

4:21 PM  
Blogger Kathy said...

Just spent about 3 weeks playing this game myself. Couldn't decide whether it was a router problem or cable modem problem,(as both seemed to work sometimes) and EITHER COULD THOSE LOVELY CSR people. Anyways I too got a new router that works better, and oh btw, they blamed my cordless phone, not my microwave.

Nodding and smiling as usual through your posts.

7:02 PM  
Blogger Chris said...

No, I don't have a microwave.

When we bought this house we left our microwave behind in our old house. We were planning on redoing the kitchen here right away. We didn't buy one because we didn't know what one we wanted.

As time went on we realized we didn't even miss it. And no, we haven't redone our kitchen yet. Because OH MY GOD, do you know how much it costs to redo a kitchen??

7:17 PM  
Blogger novaks8 said...

How do you defrost things?

I understand how to reheat on the stove but to know what you want to cook far enough in advance to put it in the frig and thaw completely????

You really are a superwoman.

8:37 PM  
Blogger joy madison said...

what can people expect form you? with 7 kids, you NEED wireless to keep you from going crazy! :)

1:56 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

You are right joy, I *NEED* my wireless. It is not just a want.

I have never defrosted things in a microwave. If I don't plan in time to have meat defrosted we eat pasta, sandwiches, or Raman, my children's favorite dinner.

8:33 AM  
Anonymous Carolyn said...

I just can't understand that you don't have a microwave. I couldn't live without mine. 90% of the food I cook for my kids is in the microwave. It just astounds me!

2:29 PM  
Blogger Sorka said...

I love it!! Being a former customer service rep.. that was just great!!
I have been on the other side of that conversation.. we had these 'answer books' that were basically a list of everything you would try to test out a problem. There was one that actually at the end had a creative reason why the steps above would not work.. that cosmic rays had struck the computer.. you should have seen my face when I actually got to the end of that one and hit the cosmic ray section..By that point I HAD to read that to the customer and have a good laugh with them before ordering up new parts!

3:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whatever it is,* you can get it here newpanasonic cordless drill

7:33 PM  

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