Sweet Revenge
Do you remember how, when you were a kid and you misbehaved, your parents would say to you, something along the lines, 'I hope when you grow up, you get a kid just like you.' And you would make some wisecrack remark like,'As long as they aren't like you.'
And your parents would laugh, and you thought they were laughing at your oh-so-funny, oh-so-clever and original remark. Turns out they were laughing because they knew that in another 20 years or so the next generation would exact their revenge for them.
They were willing to wait.
Today the children were playing outside and I caught my 10 year old encouraging his 6 year old brother to misbehave. I had the 6 yr old sit on the porch steps while I talked to the 10 year old. Over his protests that he did nothing, I explained the concept of being an accessory to a crime.
His reaction, "Puh-lease, Mom. This was hardly an illegal act."
Me, "Yes, duh-ear, I realize that it was not literally a crime. But it wasn't nice and that sort of behavior is not acceptable in this house."
Him, "But we're not in the house. We're outside"
Me, "You know what I mean. Do you have anything constructive to say?"
Him, hand held over his heart, "I am shocked at my behavior. Truly. I am shocked. And a little bit saddened. But mostly shocked."
How do you listen to that with a straight face? I know I couldn't.
And for all those times my mother said I was fresh, and I would retort, "At least I'm not stale."
I'm sorry.
Isn't my apology revenge enough?
And your parents would laugh, and you thought they were laughing at your oh-so-funny, oh-so-clever and original remark. Turns out they were laughing because they knew that in another 20 years or so the next generation would exact their revenge for them.
They were willing to wait.
Today the children were playing outside and I caught my 10 year old encouraging his 6 year old brother to misbehave. I had the 6 yr old sit on the porch steps while I talked to the 10 year old. Over his protests that he did nothing, I explained the concept of being an accessory to a crime.
His reaction, "Puh-lease, Mom. This was hardly an illegal act."
Me, "Yes, duh-ear, I realize that it was not literally a crime. But it wasn't nice and that sort of behavior is not acceptable in this house."
Him, "But we're not in the house. We're outside"
Me, "You know what I mean. Do you have anything constructive to say?"
Him, hand held over his heart, "I am shocked at my behavior. Truly. I am shocked. And a little bit saddened. But mostly shocked."
How do you listen to that with a straight face? I know I couldn't.
And for all those times my mother said I was fresh, and I would retort, "At least I'm not stale."
I'm sorry.
Isn't my apology revenge enough?
10 Comments:
My husband and I are currently living with such "sweet revenge." It's in the disguise of a mouthy, very obnoxious 14 year old. It is hard to believe *I* actually birthed this child.....I KNOW there is much good to him - it just gets so masked by that mouth.....sigh.....and I just hate it when my mother-in-law is a witness and just smiles........grrr
AARRGGHHH!! I can't wait until Sophia is old enough to smart off to me... ;)
My favorite retort to "Don't talk back to us, young lady!" was "Ok, I'll front-talk." I don't even bother complaining to my mother about DD's sassy attitude. I can't give her the satisfaction.
OH NO, my mother has always told me that she wishes on me a child HALF as bad as I was. What do you think that means?
The school teacher said that to us and I thought I was pretty sweet at the time so I didn't mind. But now that I've a two year old boy, I fear the prospect of danger. I wasn't so sweet. (to my son, "Don't be like me Kaiser, don't be like me.")
The hardest thing to do was keep a straight face when I needed to. Those boys knew how to crack me up every time and would use it to their advantage. I would tell them "What goes around comes around," my cleaned up version of "Payback is hell!" Now they are starting to see...
Grandparents can't help but smile. It's a mostly sympathetic smile on my part, but it also includes a little bit of "glad it's you and not me anymore."
I'm still trying to figure out what I did to deserve this stuff. My husband? Definitely deserves it. But I was the GOOD kid. WHINE.
Lipstickface, the dinner roll was named after a king no doubt. I didn't name my son after a dinner roll.
this is one reason why i'm not having children. i was a complete smart ass when i was a kid. i drove my family bazooks. with my luck, i'd birth the worlds biggest smart ass that would torture me for my remaining days...
:)
lipsface, are you sure you're 32 years old?
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