My blog has moved! Redirecting...

You should be automatically redirected. If not, visit and update your bookmarks.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Top Ten Reasons I Know I Am Getting Old

I remember the day clearly that I felt like I was an adult. It wasn't getting married or having children. No, it was the day I bought a melon baller. I stood at the cash register holding it and I remember thinking that the next step would be being trapped in suburbia, attending a tupperware party, where I would end up buying more single task kitchen items that I would have to store somewhere and only pull out a handful of times a year. Or worse yet, foisting a little booklet of avon products off to my neighbors and encouraging them to order skin so soft as an insect repellent.

Many, many, many years have passed since that day. I still own that handy little melon baller. I have never been to one of those insipid parties. Isn't it that same as rubbermaid? But I have been to a pampered chef party where I bought something and I love the satin hands hand creme from mary kay. And I make cute food for my kids. The march was inevitable, I guess.

Today I will decorate cupcakes so that the tops of them look like little baseballs for my two oldest son's baseball team in honor of their first home game. And hope I at least give the impression of being the good mother I long to be. Not to the other parents, I really couldn't care less what they think of me, but to my children. I hope it's enough.


Today is also the eve of my birthday. A birthday which will no longer enable me to check the 25-35 year old box on surveys. A birthday which will force me from now on to check the box which states 36-dead, or whatever it says.

I present the top ten reasons why I know I am getting old.

10) I use the word comfortable when describing my ideal clothing and the word practical when shopping for shoes. I look at the "fashionable" clothes that teenagers are wearing, and laugh. Though I will go on record saying that I will never wear stockings with open toe shoes. Why do old people do this? Was this ever a good look? Or is it just that they have become so practical that they want to keep their feet warm and wear the shoes they like?

9) I was buying my son vintage globes on ebay for his collection and noticed the globes are younger than I am. I realized I could say, "I remember when toys were made out of tin..." Soon the toys I played with as a child will be called antiques.

8)I have uttered the phrase, "When I was a kid..." and the music I grew up listening to is played on the radio at a special day and time called the "Way Back Weekend". And you know the next step is calling it the "oldies but goodies" . Who knew it was possible to wax nostalgic about the seventies and eighties.

7) I have a child who wears clothes bigger than mine.

6) I have known my husband and been married for a third of my life.

5) Every time I get the slightest ailment I think I am dying and should seek out a specialist. I worry more than I should about dying and leaving my children motherless. And I worry about what they would remember about me.

4) I have a "condition", albeit a minor one, and own a daily pill container, fulfilling one of my life's greatest fears.

3) When I look down at my hands I see the hands of my mother.

2)I frequently find myself wistful for my body the way it looked in my early twenties, because from my vantage point now, I realize that was as good as it was going to get. Who knew? I wouldn't have been caught dead in the body I have now.

1) I can buy myself whatever I want for my birthday, but like Ponce de Leon the only thing I want I can't buy. Though my area of exploration is limited to the cosmetics counter in my local department store.


Blogger angie said...

(Oooo! I'm first!)
Happy Birthday! And many more, from another 30-something.....

11:29 AM  
Blogger Ringmaster said...

Happy B-day to you, Happy B-day to you, Happy B-day you hilarious, blog-writing, thirty-something, homeschooling, inspiring, Mommy....
Happy B-day to you!

Enjoy your day!

12:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Chris from Dot aka flower.girl and mom to 6

12:22 PM  
Anonymous Ruth said...

Happy birthday Chris
You are not old - I am 44.

1:50 PM  
Blogger Annalise said...

Happy birthday!!

I love the new picture at the top of your blog! And lol about #2. So true, and so sad.


3:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy birthday, Miss Chris.

You built all those pretty children from your own blood and bone?

Who does the blond boy with the silly smile look like?

Janis Gore

3:16 PM  
Anonymous Jordana said...

Happy birthday to you! I met my husband young, because at 30, I've already known him a third of my life, though we've got a few years until we've been married a third.

And I too love the picture of the kids. I definitely think you are superwoman for getting a good photo of seven children.

3:47 PM  
Blogger Jules said...

Happy Happy Birthday Baby!

I love this post- I can totally relate to having your mother's hands- I, too see my mother when I catch a glimpse of my hands.

And the one about thinking you're going to die when you don't feel well- and you will end up leaving your children motherless. I understand this one- I think about it almost every day!! Sort of like obsessing about how you would save all your children if the house were on fire! ;)

I hope you have a great birthday!

6:34 PM  
Blogger Meg said...

YAY! Happy Birthday!


6:39 PM  
Blogger impromptu-mom said...

Happy Birthday Chris!

Just remember that every item on your list is a marker of achivement. You have accomplished some great work in your life; look at all of those beautiful children you are surrounded by. I think you are one amazeing lady, and I have never even met you in person. Just think how impressed I'd be if we met face to face!

7:40 PM  
Blogger Okgirl Speaks said...

I hope you have a wonderful birthday. I love your blog.

8:00 PM  
Blogger Kathy said...

Happy Birthday Chris, from another one of those checking the over 36 box... Hope you have a great day with that wonderful family of yours;-)

8:06 PM  
Blogger Erin said...

Happy birthday, and love the picture of the children! I can't take looking at any more snow this year.

9:31 PM  
Anonymous terrilynn said...

Happy birthday! This past one for me tipped me into the closer-to-fifty-than-forty range, and it has been a very hard one for me to take.

Your children are so beautiful.

10:53 PM  
Blogger Perri said...

Enjoy your birthday -- lots of moms our age don't live to be our age. Sad but true. Wake up and thank God for all the glorious years he has given you with your beautiful kids.

As I type this I look down and see my mother's hands - but she is wearing my wedding ring.

Have a great day. I love your blog.

11:52 PM  
Blogger eko said...

Happiest Birthday, Chris!

12:23 AM  
Blogger J said...

Happy Birthday, funny woman. And, OH! You made me realize I've been in love with Dan for (almost!) a third of my life, as well. Mind-blower.

6:24 AM  
Blogger rugdesigner said...

The happiest of birthdays to you! And I also love the new picture! You've done well, my child, to have birthed such a beautiful mass of humanity!

I know there was a day when I clearly felt like an adult, but it's been so long ago the memory is fuzzy now. I can either scare you or console you by relating what "old people" do on Girls Night. You can check it out at my place, if you've got some patience and time.

9:24 AM  
Blogger halloweenlover said...

Happy Birthday!

You should have the kids cook for you today, and then send us pictures : )

Have a wonderful day!

9:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday, kiddo! I loved your list of ten reasons, because I can so relate, and the fact that I just bought the veggie slicer/mandolin from Pampered Chef this week through a book party.

What rockstar lives we lead!!!

Enjoy your birthday.

(Liz at This Full House)

9:45 AM  
Blogger Katie said...

Happy Birthday Chris, have a great big piece of cake and ice cream for me!

And ack! I've known my husband for 1/3 of my life now too, how the heck did that happen?

10:07 AM  
Blogger Paula said...

Happy belated b-day! Hope it was grand, you young thing you!

Got you beat--at 40, I've known my hubby half my life!

4:31 PM  
Blogger thicket dweller said...

Happy Birthday! Sorry it's late...I'm getting old and I forget to check my favorite blogs every day. ;-)

8:15 PM  
Blogger Laurel said...

Hey Chris,
Wait another ten years and THEN we can discuss getting old! :O) Sorry this is "older" senile type take a little longer in getting around to our blogs. Hope your cake was YUMMY!! I also hope that eating "clearance" cake didn't kill you! LOVE your blog. I think our kids would have a GRAND time comparing notes!

11:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you wonder about stockings with open toed shoes - yes, definitely it *was* a good look in the past.

Look at numberless hosiery/lingerie/shoes/clothing ads of the 30s-40s-50s and even pantyhose ads of the 70s and 80s. Many, many young gorgeous models are wearing nylons with sandals and open toed shoes. It was just natural. Fine. Refined. Not at all tacky. Tacky was, going around bare-legged.

(Tell the fashion victims of today, who flaunt their bony legs stockingless even in winter, and think they look good).

9:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very cool blog you got! I just added you to my bookmarks!

I have a great article resource you might want to check out.

8:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's about that time of the year again! I found a good place to get the craftsman snow blower for cheap... But there are times of the year that I think it would just be easier to live in Florida.

9:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I enjoyed your cameo intimates lingerie blog. You should check out this cameo intimates lingerie site.

9:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice erika taylor intimates blog. I found this site that has discount lingerie : **SexyBedroomAttire**

1:42 AM  
Blogger Antonio Hicks said...

i was just browsing through the blog world searching for the keyword posters and it brought me to your site. You have a great site however it is not exactly what i was looking for. Good luck on your site. sincerely, antonio.

9:43 PM  
Blogger Pantyhoser said...

This is a nice blog for people like me. I have a pantyhose foot job video blog with hot erotic stories and pictures related to pantyhose and foot fetish. Take a look at Pantyhosed Feet Gallery Viewer

2:22 PM  
Blogger blogsurfer said...

What are you looking for today?

8:17 AM  
Anonymous toys baby said...

Hi Blogger, I found your blog quite informative.
I just came across your blog and wanted to
drop you a note telling you how impressed I was with it.
I give you my best wishes for your future endeavors.
If you have a moment, please visit my toys baby site.
Have a great week!

10:37 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home