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Thursday, May 05, 2005

Like Lambs Before The Slaughter

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I had thought by baking cute cupcakes and having Rob as the coach of the baseball team, that I would not have to attend the games. Not that I don't enjoy watching their team get three outs with the first three boys that come up to bat; boys that duck and step outside the box as soon as the pitcher lets go of the ball. And I do so enjoy watching the opposing team score 13 runs in one inning.

But Rob said that if I want to continue bitching about the overall parental apathy that I had to attend the games. And since I am not about to give that up, I went.

I am not sure that there is a word to accurately describe the skill level of the team. But I will try. My two sons are in third and fourth grade and the team is comprised of sixth and seventh graders, and my sons are among the few good players.

There was more than one player that I saw swing at a ball by twirling around at the plate. I had to restrain myself from screaming something like, "Are you twirling your tu-tu girlie boy?"* Because that would have been mean and I was supposed to be rooting for this team, after all.

There was also more than one player who ducked when the ball was pitched at him, one of whom was squatting in almost a fetal position trying to swing.

And then there were the kids who cower behind their baseball gloves in the outfield and run away from the ball.

I suggested to Rob that at the next practice he line the kids up and whip balls at them so that they can see it won't kill them to get hit with a ball.** But apparently there are rules about that sort of thing. Clearly this is why I could never be a coach.

But the cupcakes were yummy and the other team was totally jealous. They may have beaten us 18-0, but we had snacks. And we weren't tired and sweaty. And our uniforms were still in pristine condition. And we got to recite the loser mantra.*** What did they get for their troubles???

And just watch out next time. We're totally going to eat our snacks in front of them again and not share one bit. We'll see how they like that.

*Not that there would be anything wrong with this tu-tu twirling at a ballet class.

**Obviously I am joking so please keep your hate mail to yourself. I would never line the kids up and throw balls at them. They would totally be expecting it that way. Much better to have the surprise factor.

*** The loser mantra for those who don't know is, "Hey, at least we had fun."


Blogger Katie said...

I was always on the losing team too, must explain my love for the Cubs. The cupcakes look yummy!

7:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My son's school team won ONE game and it was the last.

My son was one of the few good players.
Sometimes it is hard to watch.

But, it really is a valuable lesson....i think....i hope!

8:11 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

C doesn't start to play until next week. His team is ALL 3rd graders except one 5th grader. This league is 3rd through 6th. It's going to be a reaaaallllyyyy long season. On the other hand, L is only playing t-ball because snacks are included. Good to know the girl has her priorities.

8:51 PM  
Anonymous Jordana said...

There's the other loser mantra, that we said a lot at our college football games: That's alright. That's okay. You'll all be working for us some day.

Lovely cupcakes though.

9:46 PM  
Blogger 'Thought & Humor' said...

You have a riveting web log and undoubtedly
must have atypical & quiescent potential for
your intended readership. May I suggest that
you do everything in your power to honor
your Designer/Architect as well as your audience.
Please remember to never restrict anyone's
opportunities for ascertaining uninterrupted
existence for their quintessence.

There is a time for everything, a season for every
activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time
to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time
to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and
a time to rebuild. A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance. A time to
scatter stones and a time to gather stones. A time
to embrace and a time to turn away. A time to
search and a time to lose. A time to keep and
a time to throw away. A time to tear and a time
to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak
up. A time to love and a time to hate. A time for
war and a time for peace.

Best wishes for continued ascendancy,

'Thought & Humor'
Cyber-Humor & Cyber-Thought
Harvard Humor Club

9:49 PM  
Blogger lipstickface said...

what the hell?

11:35 PM  
Blogger Chris said...

Now that song from the Byrds is stuck in my head...

To everything (turn turn turn)
There is a season (turn turn turn)...

6:54 AM  
Blogger rugdesigner said...

My father always coached my son's teams and I had to "keep the books". He said he liked the detail, but I knew it was to keep me busy so I would stay quiet.

And what's up with T&H? I second lipstick; WTH? I hope by some chance there is a compliment in disguise in there because there is no cause to be messing with the girl here. I mean, big yellow house, lots of kids, many, many women in the readership. No sane person would really cross that line would they?

Oh, and let's all sing together now...

9:15 AM  
Blogger rugdesigner said...

sorry for the rant... operating on minimal sleep. I've had some caffiene now and taken my hormones; things are better...

10:33 AM  
Blogger Annalise said...

You and Bobby would get along very well I think. He could have written that post :-)


11:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice blog! Do you have rss feed I can tap into? #ionic breeze gp silent air purifier#

8:26 PM  

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