My blog has moved! Redirecting...

You should be automatically redirected. If not, visit and update your bookmarks.

Monday, May 02, 2005

I'm Writing A Book

A book about my adventures in grocery shopping, because surely these things don't happen to everyone. Or maybe they do and I am just unaware.

I'll skip over the actual shopping part this time, I have already discussed that ad nauseum, here and other places I am too lazy to find and link to.

But, this weekends real adventure began from the check out aisle, where my groceries somehow morphed from fitting comfortably into 2 carts, to overflowing from three. Thankfully, with the bread safely tucked underneath the rest of the groceries.

I got to have two baggers, which made me feel very special, and celebrity-like, though I could have done without the constant running commentary about how much food it was and how it will last a long time.

I guess they didn't see all the kids I had with me, who can inhale a cart full of groceries in an afternoon. But, in their defense, some of them were running around so fast that they weren't readily visible to the naked eye.

Then the store manager rewarded my children for their good behavior. Good behavior is subjective I suppose, or she couldn't see them either. They each received their very own chocolate Easter bunny. The Easter candy which is no longer fit for selling, but perfectly acceptable to give away to children.

Which was nice.

Except it really wasn't. I didn't need them to have that jolt of sugar and caffeine and then strap them all into a car.

So, I handed over my husband's paycheck and we began to leave the store. I was pushing one cart with my infant, my 7 yr old was pushing one cart,while lovingly holding onto his chocolate bunny, and the grocery bagger was pushing the cart with my two year old. As the circus train headed out of the store and across the parking lot, my 7 yr old ran over his 4 yr old brother. In a very dramatic Oscar worthy performance, the 4 yr old lay on the pavement and rolled, writhed, and screamed, while a line of cars in both directions waited, watching the show.

Behold the spectacle that is my family shopping. I wish I could charge for the viewing.

Somehow I managed to push the shopping cart over to the side and drag my 4 yr old over with me. As I bent down to look at his scraped knee, I heard my 2 yr old screaming, "Weeeeeeee weeeee,"along with maniacal laughter that is never good. I look up and see her, still strapped into the cart, flying solo down the incline of the parking lot. It is at that point I notice the grocery bagger standing next to me, completely oblivious.

"You let go of the cart?!?"

She took off running and caught the cart before it crashed into some parked cars. As I caught up to her she mumbled, "I am having a bad day."

Which made me laugh. My life is her bad day, yet she bags groceries for a living. I guess it is all in your perspective, because bagging groceries would be on my list of things I'd like to do right behind gouge my eyes out with a butter knife.

By the time I got the groceries unloaded into the van, the children had all eaten their chocolate bunnies and were bouncing around. All I can say is thank God for the five point harness.

Before we drove off I looked over my shopping list, which I had left in the van, as usual. In the excitement of buying more! cereal! that contains the light saber spoons, I had forgotten to buy flour and tin foil.

You know what that means... the circus train will be rolling through town again soon. Look for us at a shopping center near you.


Anonymous Mary said...

How funny.

I have been reading your archives off and on all day today. I just started and couldn't stop!
I just read about your vacation to Florida last year.
Sounds like fun.

we have 6 kids and I can totally relate to so much of what you say about the way large families are treated.

I have to stop reading for today and get some much necessary things done!


7:22 PM  
Blogger Rachel said...

i want to shop with you! I'll feel frugal. :)

Plus, i might actually find the cereal with the light saber spoon - my husband wants one to use at work, but there are none in the stores around here.

8:45 PM  
Blogger J said...

I saw the light-saber spoons at Wal*Mart the other day and *didn't* buy any, partly because we didn't need cereal and partly because my boys would definitely use them to gouge each others' eyes out, and (lastly) partly because I had just bought them all light-sabers that are bigger than they are for B's bday. I used to be a fun mom, once, but that was long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away.

9:05 PM  
Blogger Perri said...

Your blog is hysterical. It's like someone is writing about my life adventures.

11:39 PM  
Blogger Suzanne said...

Why hasn't anyone come up with a parents with kids only grocery store? And why is that lady staring at my child when I know darn well that her children are just in school so they can't run amuck for me to stare at?

10:23 AM  
Blogger angie said...

I *only* have 3 kids (all under 5), but it sometimes feels like more! And we always have some shopping-cart-hit-and-run type experience. Very similar to yours!

Thanks for sharing!!!

11:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry, will have to miss your next showing...because I'll be too busy stuck at Costco in the longest line, evuh!!!!

(Liz @ This Full House)

2:54 PM  
Blogger Sleeping Mommy said...

Oh my god. My husband just had to buy that box of cereal yesterday at the store simply for that freaking spoon. Seriously. And I forgot to add that to the post about our trip to the evil empire.

Hilarious stuff here. Thanks for visiting me today. My day would not have been as bright had I not followed your comment to your post.

Oh and one other thing. I will never understand people that just give candy to kids. I personally would prefer if they could get my attention and ask me (out of ear and eyeshot) if it is okay first. I mean seriously what if one of my kids was diabetic or something?

4:40 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

You are a riot, you know that? And the funniest part is that I know it's all completely true because I've been there, done that except it wasn't quite as funny as your trips.

9:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The photo of your kids is beautiful!!! I enjoy your posts - keep the stories coming.

5:09 AM  
Blogger Meg said...

Chris, I LOVE the new picture! Your kids are adorable (and they look clean, too, which is amazing since I only have one and she's filthy most of the time...).

8:10 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

Oh Meg, I want to shake you and slap you a few times. It's a good thing I already like you ;-)

But, clean??? clean???

When you have one kid, they are "allowed" to be dirty. When you have seven if they are dirty then you don't take care of them properly and you have more than you can handle.

Yup, you hit one of my sensitive nerves.

10:40 AM  
Blogger The Coupon Guru said...

Nice shoes shopping blog. You should see **THIS** shoes shopping website !

8:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yo, This blog is pretty neat. You should check out mine sometime. It pretty much covers cheap web hosting related stuff.

8:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I discuss this topic daily myself. I also have a website that talks about free domain name site
related things. Go check it out if you get a chance.

9:02 AM  
Blogger Judy Farrell said...

Love your blog. I plan to bookmark it for future reference. Anyone interested in my blog on food, recipes, drinks and
coupon coupon grocery organizer organizer

10:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great Blog you have here!
I'm definitely going to bookmark this one.
Do you know DOT WS (website) will be larger than DOT COM (commercial) ?
Remember 800 phone numbers? Now you have 888 877 etc.
Are you a visionary? I hope you are and decide to get in on something
that will change your life! GDI is where its at.
7 day free trial and no selling
Want a short .WS domain name? Now you can get one and make affiliate $$$$$$$
You get your own website
Check this one out :-)domain name lookupdomain name lookup

6:02 AM  
Blogger Thomas said...

Dear blogger,

I found your post while looking for info on
href=""> incarnation church
while I found your post

to be very interesting, it was not the exact type of info on

href=""> incarnation church
. So anyways I thoght I

should drop you a few lines and thank you for the good job that you are

doing, and at the same time spread the good news about this site that

demystifies a lot of concepts like

href=""> incarnation church
. The new age prophet

Seyed Bahram Mirkalami while demystifying subjects like

href=""> incarnation church
, states that he has

declared heaven on earth with the power invested in him by "God". And

anyone who accepts this declaration will have immortality and peace in

life right away. Here's the link one more time:

href=""> incarnation church

God bless all.

3:12 AM  
Blogger Shawn T Lippert said...

Thank you for the informative blog
Here Is some additional
Chocolate Resources for Gourmet chocolate on Valentines day, Easter and Mothers day, if you or your readers are interested.

11:00 AM  
Anonymous joel said...

Here are some things you can do to help your child develop. Show your child that you care about him/her and that you are dependable. Children who feel loved are more likely to be confident. Your child must believe that, no matter what, someone will look out for him/her. Give your baby or toddler plenty of attention, encouragement, hugs and lap time. Set a good example. Children imitate what ever they see?
Link to my site: child care miami

7:18 AM  
Blogger Jane Carpenter said...

Your blog I found to be very interesting!
I just came across your blog and wanted to
drop you a note telling you how impressed I was with
the information you have posted here.
I have a 2012 london domain name olympics
Come and check it out if you get time :-)
Best regards!

3:12 AM  
Blogger Bill Harrison said...

Your blog I found to be very interesting!
I just came across your blog and wanted to
drop you a note telling you how impressed I was with
the information you have posted here.
I have a 2 character domain names
Come and check it out if you get time :-)
Best regards!

3:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cool Blog! If you get a chance I would like to invite you to visit the following games Blog, it is cool to!

11:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

free houses wanted ads

5:58 AM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home