notesfromthetrenchesIII

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Saturday, March 12, 2005

Pop Goes The Weasel

Feel free to sing along and do the heebie jeebie dance and shout expletives along with me. Because some situations just call for cursing

All around the big yellow house
The father chased the weasel
The mother screamed,
The children did run.

I'm not joking
It's a weasel.


The father caught him under a bowl,
A stinky smelly weasel.
but how do we get him
out of the house.

I'm not joking
It's a weasel.


The father says the weasel is cute.
The mother screams "just kill it"**
The children cry, "But we want a pet!"


No joke
It's a fucking weasel.


The father and brave son stare at the bowl
under which is the goddam weasel.
Oh how do we get it
Into a cage

This disgusting
Fucking weasel.


They come up with an intricate plan,
Involving wood and cages,
but things go wrong
the fault of brave son.


It's loose again,
fucking weasel.


** By "kill it" I didn't mean literally kill it. I meant more along the lines of get it the hell out of my house in any way possible.

13 Comments:

Blogger Lisa said...

Perhaps you could stake out a wounded hen to lure him out....nah! You know weasels are just ferrets without the PR.

8:20 PM  
Blogger Chris said...

PR or no PR it's still a weasel *in* my house.

Don't you wanna come for a visit? ;-)

8:51 PM  
Blogger Jody said...

LOL! My whole house is asleep and I am LMAO. Sorry, I know it is not funny to you!

You MUST post some pictures of this beast!

How the hell did it get in?

10:58 PM  
Blogger Rachel said...

i bet it's someone's pet ferret. so, you can't keep it! you *must* bring it to animal control, or the other sad children will cry. :)

sorry at LOL at you, but you just write so well!

7:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, I 've had a similar experience, except it was an opossum living in my basement (and they look JUST like giant rats). It was boldly munching nacho chips as though it was a picnic, with the lights on and us standing very near. First we sent our dog, Spot, downstairs. Spot is an avid hunter who has killed several raccoons, a groundhog, a rabbit and numerous squirrels. Spot's response was to poop on the floor.

Next Daryl and I went after it. It was not easily frightened, but we eventually managed to chase it into a rubbermaid tote and slap the lid on it. Then we took it outside and set it free. It took a few steps, then the dogs rushed it. so it played dead. After a few sniffs, they walked away! Effective strategy, apparently.

So tell your hubby to use a tote. Also did you try sliding a piece of cardboard under the bowl?

Btw, I've been wondering how that quitting smoking is going?

10:48 AM  
Blogger Paula said...

That anonymous was me!

10:57 AM  
Anonymous Biz said...

Hey, I was close with groundhog ;-)
What comes to mind when thinking weasel is those naughty ones in Roger Rabbit!

2:10 PM  
Blogger Gretchen said...

Ewwww. My experience with weasels: we had a rabbit in a cage in the back yard. A weasel got in and ate it. Only weasels don't actually eat much flesh, they just bite the animal open and eat the guts and blood. Poor bunny was on his back with his stomach bit open. Yuck.

My experience with animals in the house: we had a skunk in the basement. Just how do you chase a skunk out??? Dear old dh actually went down with a broom and shooed him out. I would have killed him (dh) if he'd have made that skunk spray!

Lastly, I would have said "kill it!" and meant kill! LOL

4:04 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

Call animal control, they should be able to help you.If they can't, you really need to kill it... what if its rabid or has some weird rodent disease and bites some one? Baseball bat, cast iron frying pan, lots of decon....

7:12 PM  
Blogger kalisah said...

When I opened your page my first thought was to ask you if that is REALLY YOUR HOUSE because it's amazing, but if it comes with large rodents...NO THANKS.

I can take ANYTHING but rodents.

A weasel? For real? How did you know it was a weasel? And not, say, a muskrat?

BTW, thanks for stopping by!

1:48 PM  
Anonymous Helloheather said...

Ew....a weasel??? Nasty. I found your blog through Carmen at "Mom to the Screaming Masses".

4:42 PM  
Anonymous rabbit cage said...

I wish I had found you earlier. I was looking on the search engines for rabbit related websites using the keyword rabbit cage and found your awesome page with the title Pop Goes The Weasel. I am looking for ideas on how to improve my own site using different keywords and was amazed how easy it was to find your site using the keyword rabbit cage. Perhaps we could do a link exchange at some point. Anyway, thanks for your time and I’m really happy I found you on the web.

7:38 AM  
Blogger Catherine said...

I say kill the !@#$%^&!!!!

I awoke this morning, thank god I was the first on the scene before our oldest came down...and our youngest ran in "there is blood in the cage". I went out and "Sniffles" looked fine but when I picked him up I can't even say...I cradled him in a towel and brought him in the house and my husband kindly put the poor bunny out of his misery.

Fortunately our children did not see what I saw or what my husband had to do (I didn't even ask but I know it ended his suffering) but we have blood lust for that freaking little weasel...

No wonder there are no rabbits around here...they were all over the place growing up in the Ohio suburbs!

It would be one thing if those nasty creatures at least killed their prey but I don't comply with needless torture of any creature...

10:29 PM  

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