How To Cut In Line

I was at Walmart buying a cart load full of junk. Literally the back of the cart was overflowing with stuff. I hadn't bought that many things, but what I did buy was large and took up lots of room... two big boxes of diapers, big mega box of wipes, papertowels, toilet paper, tissues.

Basically it was stuff that was going to only make a pit stop in my home on the way to it's permanent residence, our town landfill.

The store was crowded and the lines at the check out were excruciatingly long. As I was waiting on line to pay the man and woman standing behind me began commenting on my adorable baby son. Of course I turned around to thank them.

The man behind me was holding a bottle of Windex. Not holding it down at his side like he was carrying it, but holding it up at chest level, like he was some sort of hand model holding the Windex in an ad.

'Your baby is really cute.' he said.

'Thanks.' I said.

'Really, he is. How old is he?' he said, with a flourish of the hand across his lonely bottle of Windex.

'He's two months old. Is that all you are buying?' I said watching his hand caress the bottle of Windex.

'Yes it is. Just one little thing.'

'Do you want to go in front of me?' I offered.

Him and his wife practically leap frogged over my cart they were so excited. We talked for a bit more and then fell silent waiting for the never ending line to move.

Suddenly I hear a man's hopeful voice behind me.

'I think your baby is cute too.'

Nope, I'm not that nice.