The Long Version- Part One

Shortly after I wrote the post whining about how horrible I felt, I went back to bed. I lay there having contractions that were about 10 minutes apart. I tried to go back to sleep, but I was too excited thinking about meeting the baby soon. Everytime I had a contraction I *had* to check the clock.

Around 4:45 I felt a huge gush. I popped up out of bed and told Rob to get up. He had no recollection of me waking him a few hours earlier so he was completely surprised. He got up and went into our master bathroom. I was walking around our bedroom gathering up my last minute things by the light of the bathroom. I continued to feel gushing and decided I had better change my clothes before heading downstairs to call my doctor and our babysitter.

I flipped on our bedroom light and began taking off my sweatpants. It was then I realized my water hadn't broken. I was gushing bright red blood.

I yelled for Rob and he came in the bedroom and saw the blood. Our eyes met and we both froze speechless for a few seconds. Rob said, 'We're leaving now.' And he grabbed my bag.

I called our babysitter and called the doctor. As I was going to get my shoes and coat on I saw my camera and camcorder charging on their holders. I paused for a minute with my hand over them. What if I brought them and ended up having nothing to photograph. I left them there.

I went and stood next to the front door. Rob had gone upstairs to wake our oldest two sons up to wait for the sitter. They only live 5 minutes away, but the roads were very icy and Rob thought we should just go. At the last minute I went back into the kitchen, grabbed the cameras, and threw them into my bag.

We got into our car as the doctor called me on my cell phone. 'Don't come here. Get to the nearest ER.'

So we headed out on the icy roads to the small county hospital about 25 minutes away. We drove in virtual silence. There weren't any words to say.

I guess it's true what they say about their being no atheists in a foxhole. The times you feel the most powerless are the times you feel that there must be something greater than you. I silently prayed the entire time, bargaining with God.

We arrived at the hospital and walked into the ER, unsure of what they were going to tell us. The ER triage nurse seemed annoyed with me that I was at the "wrong" hospital where my obstetricians didn't practice and I had to correct her several times that I was 38 weeks pregnant and bleeding a lot, not slightly. When she called up to the maternity floor and got the information wrong once again and made a point to tell them I didn't have a doctor there, I wanted to punch her. And I thought briefly that must be the reason they have the protective plexiglass around her desk.

As she buzzed us in and we walked to the elevator, I began to silently cry.