notesfromthetrenchesIII

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Monday, September 12, 2005

In Which My Sons Lament the Fact That They Are Not Being Raised in the Deep South

A magazine came in the mail today covered with plastic so that none of it's contents could be revealed. Before I could even bring it into the house my 10 year old snatched it out of my hand and ran away with it.

My two oldest sons are huddled over a magazine. Their heads are pressed together and they are giggling and pointing things out to each other.

"OH MY GOD. Look at that!!!"

"That is so awesome. But look over here, those are even bigger."

"I'd love to get my hands on that!"

"Every page is better than the next."

"If we put our money together maybe we could buy one"


What is the object of my sons' interest? A catalog from this store filled with pictures of guns, knives, bows, and camouflage everything.

It's like porn for the preadolescent boy.

What happened to the pacificist boys I was going to raise who were going to be gentle and play nurturing games and love to sing in harmony? Instead I have sons who want to deck themselves out in camouflage, drool over weaponry, and seem to have a natural predilection for blowing things up.


Disclaimer: The title of this post is in no way an insult to the people who live in the deep south. It's just that I have heard there is a completely different attitude toward weaponry down there, meaning it is socially acceptable to have guns in your home. If you are from the south and you don't agree with this characterization feel free to NOT email me. I am bogged down with other hate mail. I'll let you know when I am done with it and when I will be welcoming the hate again. Thanks.

57 Comments:

Blogger halloweenlover said...

What are pacificist boys anyway? Do they live in the wilds of California?

Tee hee. I couldn't resist : ) You can direct my hate mail to halloweenlover@gmail.com

For a second there I thought, OH MY GOODNESS, Rob gets porn magazines at home???

5:45 PM  
Blogger Annika said...

My husband was a pacifist when he was a preadolescent boy, and now he is a gunslinging cowboy. I say this not because I think your sons will necessarily "outgrow" it (ha! who knows!) but merely to make conversation.

5:51 PM  
Blogger Cindy said...

When my postadolescent husband's preadolescent porn arrives, he has to fight our daughters for it. Not because of guns, but because of swords. He despairs that they go for the ornate "girly" ones every time.

(Just for the record, we live in southern Missouri and have numerous items of weaponry, both bladed and artillery, in our home. Luckily the year my husband mistook the Christmas tree for an intruder in the dark, none of these weapons was near to hand.)

This is non-hate-mail, Chris. I absolutely love this blog.

6:12 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

At least you know where to shop for them for Christmas...Just Kidding.
What is it with boys and guns?

6:27 PM  
Blogger novaks8 said...

We get that catalog.
It goes in the pile on my husband's desk of "stuff that does not interest me"
Just like my baby, decorating and curtain catalogs get flipped on my desk.

We live in NC and have NO guns in our home.

But my boys have a BBgun at their dad's shop. I won't allow them to keep it here.
we used to have one here when we first moved in and there are still three windows upstairs with small holes in them.
(you can't see them because of the storm windows on the outside and the curtains on the inside...that puts them pretty low on my priority list)

6:56 PM  
Blogger robiewankenobie said...

whattre my chances at raising pacifist boys in kentucky, do ya figure? *sigh*

7:21 PM  
Blogger Bernadette said...

It has been my experience that "pacifist boys" is an oxymoron. Kind of like "humble blogger".

7:32 PM  
Anonymous Chuck said...

Just to defend the north, Maine has the highest amount of guns per houshold... And well no crime, you figure it out.
And I got my "porn" in the mail today to. Already have a 1858 Buffalo hunter in 44 cal, but thinking I might get the stainless now cause I like it so much.

Also for the record, one of my sons was given a BB gun at his baby shower, true story. And we (I) have way to many guns but I also have this wierd idea about them beng locked up all the time and so forth.

8:12 PM  
Blogger Lolly said...

Just a note from one of those "southerners" - you know what they say about us and hunting...you can tell the difference by visiting the zoos. Up north they have little placards that offer up info about the animals in the cages, and down here in the south, they offer up recipes along with the info, so you can cook your latest catch!

9:05 PM  
Blogger Prism said...

I only live 3 hours south of Canada, so we're pretty far up north. But I'd say you'd have to look pretty hard in these here parts to find a home that DOESN'T house at least one gun.

But we also firmly believe in locking up and locking ammo separate. And it's mostly rifles...I'm not sure about hand guns, there may be those, too, but it's mostly rifles for dear, turkeys, ground hogs, etc.

But I will say one thing...I didn't grow up with guns, though my Grandpa used one occasionaly on rodents or to scare bats, but I know my MIL must hate the darn things. He one son in particular has not only shot out their HUGE bay window, but also shot his BROTHER accidently in the bag with BIRD SHOT. Not a good idea. My FIL picked out each bullet himself because they didn't want to turn in their son.

So there is definately something to be said about the need for gun SAFETY...thus I sit on the fence.

9:31 PM  
Blogger Prism said...

That should be BACK, not bag...he got shot in the BACK...sorry ;)

9:32 PM  
Blogger Joy said...

Deep, deep southerner here...and no insult taken! Back "in the old days" down South, children were taught early on how to shoot a gun. We never knew why. Except, perhaps, to shoot at deer after someone had shined a light in his eyes. Didn't much need protection from enemies back then. Anyhow, my daddy (pretty drunk at the time) taught me how to shoot a twenty-two by sticking a long kitchen match between his teeth, clasping his hands behind his back, and threatening to beat my butt if I didn't light that &*%# match with the first shot. I shook all over until I got the match lined up in the scope, then a strange calm settled over me, a calm I have never known since. When that calm came down to visit me, I shot the gun and and lit the match. And so, there you go. Southern teaching years ago. And the man lived a pretty long life even with that; none of us ever shot him. We just lit matches. How any of us made it to be here today and blogging...I assume the angels assigned to us were very tattered.

Good blog.

10:37 PM  
Blogger cmhl said...

my 7 year old is enamored with all things violent, which totally freaks me out..

10:46 PM  
Blogger Earth Girl said...

At 11, one son put himself on the Cabela mailing list. At 16, that interst falls behind cars and girls (or is it girls and cars?) I can't wait for your postings over the next few years.

10:50 PM  
Blogger thatgirl said...

bwahahaha. You a funny girl. :)

11:06 PM  
Blogger Melessa said...

Boys are funny that way. I made my DH get rid of his gun when my oldest child was still a tiny baby. When my son came along, I resloved never to guy him any weapon-style toys and my DH, then a Nat'l Guardsman, humored me. Probably because he knew that by age 5, my little guy would be building them out of Legos, which he is. But at least I never bought him one-and he does love to sing.

11:13 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Kansas City has one of the nation's (world's?) largest Cabela stores. I was there this summer. I'm not a hunter, nor is anyone in my family, but that store was NEAT!! I'd go back in a heartbeat.

12:12 AM  
Blogger Christy said...

Cabela's is my dad's favorite store. He's a fisherman. Perhaps you can distract your sons by pointing out the lures.

Who am I kidding? My mom had a strict "no violent toys" rule. My brother made guns out of clothes pins.

8:14 AM  
Blogger Meg said...

You should track down Ayun Halliday's "Mother Superior" column in BUST magazine - in a back issue, she talks about her son's fascination with all things gun.

8:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All my brothers were like that Chris and I have got five. Playing war, toting toy guns, wearing army uniforms and I enjoyed it too. None of them have grown up to be serial killers and all are good husbands and fathers. I think it gets all or most of the male aggro out of their systems

9:12 AM  
Blogger J said...

Is WV the deep south? Because the guy who sold us this house told us:

"My wife done shot deer right from this-here deck more times 'an I can count!"

Yeah. Not a selling point.

9:38 AM  
Blogger dazeymae said...

my dh drools over this catalog.
it's his own little bible.
we hide it from him to watch him look for it ...just fer fun.
we're Missouri hillbillies.
we do this sh*t

happy tuesday.

9:48 AM  
Blogger Nana said...

I'm sooo happy I had daughters!! One of which is now married to the gunslinging cowboy. (I don't think he really slings a gun, does he, Annika???)

10:49 AM  
Blogger Annika said...

No, mom. No real guns.

12:12 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

Aw, c'mon.. haven't you seen the cute camo onesies and crib blankets in that catalog? I love it!

3:59 PM  
Blogger MissBossyPants said...

Isn't Cabelas based in Nebraska? I remember going to their store when I was 14, driving through Nebraska with my parents, and buying this salmon-colored sweatshirt with the Cabela's logo on it.

11:57 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Darling said...

My husband belongs to agun club and took our daughter out to learn to shoot at seven years old. But then... we're from the wild west so what can I say! LOL

9:44 AM  
Blogger Mama Heffalump said...

Hmm... we must not be deep in the south enough. When the speech therapist showed Lil Lumpy a picture of a gun (g sound), she didn't know what it was! LOL!

11:14 AM  
Blogger Silly Old Bear said...

I know a man who moved his wedding day because it interfered with opening weekend of deer season.

In other words, I feel your pain.

Have you seen the new (Oscar-worthy) Dukes of Hazzard movie?

The guy that lives in the woods, with the armadillo hat?

I'm raising two more, just like him. Haven't figured out if the baby is going to go Airborne Ranger or Navy Seal yet.

(sigh)

I thought they'd all be geeks, like me.

5:34 PM  
Blogger nextcommercial said...

GAD! I opened the link and was instantly bored. Camoflage is BOR-ING! Bright orange? UGLY! When I was there age, I waited on pins and needles for the Wish book from JC Penney. These boys have idea how to shop.

7:50 PM  
Blogger nextcommercial said...

Um....their..not there. sorry

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