notesfromthetrenchesIII

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Thursday, September 08, 2005

Feeling Like A Big Fat Liar

I have no idea why my post isn't up yet over at dotmoms.

Of course now I am thinking,it must have totally sucked and that's why it has failed to appear. Insecure much?

Anyway, yesterday was truly amazing. We filled 15 rubbermaid bins with clothes for women and children, shoes, one filled with art supplies and craft paper for the children, towels, blankets, bedding. We also filled two boxes with medicine things like Tylenol for grown ups and children, vitamins, formula, pedialyte, toothpaste etc.

The most heart warming was seeing the generosity of my children. They went through their beloved beannie baby collections and donated quite a few each. My 9 year old has the most sensitive heart. He cried thinking about how frightening and sad it would be to not have all of your favorite things anymore. He brought his blanket down from his bed and half of his clothing, he said he would just wash his clothes more often.

My 8 yr old sobbed holding his favorite beannie babies and stuffed animals. I told him he didn't have to give anything away if it would make him so sad. And he said that as sad as it was making him, he knew that there were other kids even sadder and his favorite toys might make them feel a little better. As he put them into the box he kissed them one by one and told them to enjoy their adventure.

And just so you don't think all my children are perfectly wonderfully selfless creatures and that I have some sort of parenting secret that I am keeping to myself. I am convinced that my 10yr old has a heart made of cold hard stone. I mostly ignored him to stop myself from shouting unkind things at him. Really I don't know how a person could be so lacking in empathy. he isn't an unkind child or a mean child, but he definitely thinks of himself first and everyone else a distant second. Not sure how we work on the character flaw to be honest.

And my 6 year old, well he shattered my heart into a million pieces with his choice of what he thought he should give, and I mean that in a good way. I wrote about it in my dotmoms post so hopefully SOMEDAY you'll get to read it.

Kids, nothing prepares you for times like this.

Going to the fire station and seeing the generosity of so many people was incredible. I only wish I had more to give.

As we left the fire station I looked at my children in the rearview mirror wondering what they will remember from this experience, what lesson they would take away from it all. I had wanted to make a difference and the biggest difference I probably made was in the hearts of my children. And really that is just fine with me.

17 Comments:

Blogger Sleeping Mommy said...

What a wonderful lesson you are teaching your children, even your ten year old. Because in the future he will remember that you wanted to give and so did his siblings. It will mean something to him.

8:47 PM  
Blogger TBG said...

I hope we get to read it too. I have been looking forward to it.

What a wonderful thing you guys did.

10:55 PM  
Blogger Meg said...

Oh, Lord, you're about making me CRY this morning, Chris!!!

8:53 AM  
Blogger dazeymae said...

I have just been amazed at my selfish little pigs and the things they have given over for the hurricane relief.
It's renewed my hope as a mother.

1:03 PM  
Blogger novaks8 said...

My 7 year old is like your 10 year old. She is a very self centered person. My 11 year old son is also less empathetic than my other children.
I guess we have to remember that they are all unique and individual young humans.
I like to think that having that matter of fact, less emotional personality will help them in their chosen career one day.

lawyer...politician....judge...warden....parole officer...

1:38 PM  
Blogger halloweenlover said...

I can't believe Novaks8 compared my profession with parole officers and prison wardens! RUDE!!!

That totally made me tear up. I can't believe he kissed his beanie babies goodbye. I love your kids.

1:47 PM  
Anonymous Kristie said...

My 6-yr old gave selflessley of her things. My 8-yr old gave selflessly of her things. My 7-yr old basically said "no way in hell am I giving anything away."

I considered removing everything from his room but a pillow and a blanket and letting him sleep on the floor -- no clothes, no toys, no books, no games. Then I realized that would require way too much work, so instead I just put him in time out and told him to think about how selfish he was being.

My parenting guilt is telling me I am not doing something right here.

2:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dotmoms decided to make you an honest woman. Thanks for tenderly sharing your stuff and the story.

Rebekah
Fittsy

4:36 PM  
Blogger Silly Old Bear said...

Wow, what a gift.

7:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good enough, Miss Chris.

Janis Gore

8:57 PM  
Blogger B.E.C.K. said...

On the dotmoms thing -- I think sites like that are kinda neat, but I also dislike the way they impose requirements and judgement. If they don't post your bit in the next few days, I hope you post it here so we can read it. I'm really enjoying your blog.

On the kid generosity -- I tend to think kids absorb certain lessons over time, even if they don't currently show that they're learning. Just keep doing what you're doing. He'll get it. *hugs*

1:14 AM  
Anonymous Libragirl said...

I want you to keep your six year old
son available for my 11 month old niece. She needs to marry him.



I cried.

10:59 PM  
Blogger blackbird said...

They will learn from each other.

I need to pack things for the drive at K's office while Youngest is at school. He is so sensitive that he cannot sleep -- he could never fill bins with me, it would be too much.

9:09 AM  
Blogger Paula said...

I guess every family has one less giving child. We too have been working on her character flaw (in general, she seems to believe the world SHOULD revolve around her) without a lot of success. But at least she knows that her parents and siblings (who exert a lot of peer pressure on her, not that she bends) don't think her behavior is acceptable.

10:46 PM  
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