How To Torture Your Parents, or Baby's Note To Self
Today I am going to wake up early....very very early. I am going to stand in my crib at 4:00am and scream "mommy, mommy" over and over until my mom comes to get me out. Once we lay down in her bed and get all comfortable I am going to demand my "ba-ba". And NO, I do not want those convenient nursies anymore...I am 15 mos old now, I want my bottle.
After my mom gets out of bed and gets it for me I am going to kick her with my foot while I drink it and hit dad in the head with my free hand. When they try to roll far away from me in the bed, I will turn sideways. Now I can kick mom with both feet and still hit dad in the face.
Once I finish drinking my bottle I am going to hold it by the nipple side and swing it back and forth, repeatedly smacking my parents in the head with it. When they try to pull the covers over their heads to get away from me, I will stand up and yank the covers off of them.
When mom takes my bottle away and throws it across the room, I will head butt her a few times. And just for good measure I'll head butt dad too. The I will climb on top of him and jump up and down.
Finally they will give up and get up out of bed defeated at 5:30am.
I will dance a little jig and sing "I'm the boss, I'm the boss" and even though they don't understand what I am saying, I think they get the meaning.
And after they go downstairs and have their coffee and dad leaves for work, I will climb up on the couch and go back to sleep.
A girl needs her beauty rest afterall.
After my mom gets out of bed and gets it for me I am going to kick her with my foot while I drink it and hit dad in the head with my free hand. When they try to roll far away from me in the bed, I will turn sideways. Now I can kick mom with both feet and still hit dad in the face.
Once I finish drinking my bottle I am going to hold it by the nipple side and swing it back and forth, repeatedly smacking my parents in the head with it. When they try to pull the covers over their heads to get away from me, I will stand up and yank the covers off of them.
When mom takes my bottle away and throws it across the room, I will head butt her a few times. And just for good measure I'll head butt dad too. The I will climb on top of him and jump up and down.
Finally they will give up and get up out of bed defeated at 5:30am.
I will dance a little jig and sing "I'm the boss, I'm the boss" and even though they don't understand what I am saying, I think they get the meaning.
And after they go downstairs and have their coffee and dad leaves for work, I will climb up on the couch and go back to sleep.
A girl needs her beauty rest afterall.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home