notesfromthetrenchesIII

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Sunday, March 12, 2006

Fifteen Months Old



Today you got your first haircut, given by yours truly. No, I am not a hair dresser nor do I have any particular skill in this area.

I am thinking of becoming a Hassidic Jew just so I don't have to cut the hair in front of your ears. Putting you in a headlock while wielding sharp scissors near your face was not one of the most fun things I have ever done.

Now you look like you had your hair cut around a bowl on your head. If the bowl were handmade by a kindergartener.

You have learned some important and useful skills this month, like how to take apart an Oreo cookie and scrape the filing out with your two front teeth. No one ever showed you how to do this. You figured it out all on your own. You then throw the chocolate cookies on the ground and stomp on them. Sometimes you like to eat the crumbs, going so far as to try and wrestle the dustpan away from me.

You climb onto everything. Every chair, couch, and bench has been scaled and scaled again. So far you haven't figured out that you can push them around the room to have the ability to climb on them and reach things that you want. Once that happens we will be sporting the oh-so-attractive look of chairs up on top of all the tables, like we are an elementary classroom gone home for the night.

Trying to feed you will invoke your fury. You want to feed yourself, at all times. You want to feed yourself my food and will try and crawl across the table to get to my plate. You must have your own fork, though you only use it for flinging food out of your bowl and on to the floor for later. I rarely serve soup.

Eating

You still don't say Mama. C'mon, I carried you around inside my body for nine months and pushed you out of my vagina. Surely you can say mama. When I tell you to say Mama, you giggle. Why must you torment me? Why?

Your vocabulary consists of many words, almost all of which begin with the letter "B" and therefore sound the same.

water bottle: bah-bah
milk bottle: bah-bah
ball: bah
banana: bah
bath: bah
bye-bye: bah-bah
bagel: bah
bread: bah
cracker: bah
cookie: bah
eat: EEEEEat


Clearly we do not need to contact MENSA yet. We are hoping that the Oreo opening ability is significant of some higher reasoning skills going on and not indicative of a future career spent sitting on a couch, smoking a joint, and having the munchies.

You love to spin around and then walk across the room like a crazy drunk, tripping and banging into things.

Here you are doing a shot. It's a shot of Tylenol for you teething pain, or whatever pain it is that is causing you to wake up every hour on the hour all night long to nurse. The boobies, they are getting tired and might have to be retired soon.
Doing a shot... of tylenol

You get excited when I take the little shot glass out, perhaps a little too excited.

It would seem you are well suited for the life of a frat boy.

Using the sling

Albeit a sensitive one. You and your sister seem to be practicing for life in a nudist colony. keeping clothing on the two of you is an exercise in futility.

You have temper tantrums with a fury that seems me, way too furious. you will march in place, screaming before flinging yourself onto the floor. You have banged your head a few times on the floor to express your extreme displeasure,but after doing it a few times you seemed to make the connection that it hurt and didn't gain you anything except for parents who laughed.

When you get very angry you will turn and run away from us, your arms outstretched and your face turned up toward the sky. You scream much louder than someone your size should be able to scream. I imagine you are looking to Heaven, crying out, "Lord, why did you stick me here with these idiots who can't appreciate the sound of a metal carving knife banging a glass bowl."

Weapon of Choice

You still love the toilet brush and the garbage. To include putting non garbage things into the garbage can, and taking actual garbage out. Many things have disappeared from our house in the past month and I fear that they are now in the landfill.

28 Comments:

Blogger Gretchen said...

he is sooooo adorable! his hair doesn't look bad in the pictures at all. I haven't been able to bring myself to cut Levi's hair yet, but he needs it! It's gotten to that point where the back is all curly, and I just can't cut off the curls!

3:24 PM  
Anonymous Claudia said...

Thank-you for the laughs. He is incredibly adorable.

3:40 PM  
Anonymous HolyMama! said...

oh, that last picture is sooo cute! awesome job on the oreos, too. i'm pretty sure most kids have to be shown how to do that.

3:43 PM  
Blogger Heth said...

The holster/diaper combo is seriously cracking me up.

3:47 PM  
Blogger cmhl said...

that toilet brush picture is a work of art. hahahaha!!!!!

4:14 PM  
Blogger moe said...

I like the haircut. My son id two and my husband won't let me cut his beautiful long fine blond hair. Most of the time he looks like Einstein.

5:35 PM  
Blogger InterstellarLass said...

awww! what a cutie patootie! I wanna snuggle him up! My oldest just went off to camp for the first time...gone for a whole week!

5:47 PM  
Blogger novaks8 said...

So cute!

The language thing....my youngest walked at 9 months but waited till 2 to really start talking.

you figure the olders hand the youngers anything they want just to keep them happy.

why talk if you dont have to?

6:24 PM  
Blogger J's Mommy said...

great post and the pics are adorable! my little girl just got her first haircut this weekend, too!

7:17 PM  
Blogger "D" said...

oh the hair! and the holster! Cute cute cute!!!

8:25 PM  
Blogger Meg said...

OH MY LORD. Cutest kid ever. And I'm SO relieved that Sophia isn't the only baby a)refusing to say "Mama," though she CAN say it, and b)saying some variation of "bah" to refer to just about everything.

And the pic of the future Mr. Sophia in a diaper and hoster wielding a toilet brush? He's Sophia's soul mate (she dusts walls while wearing a Colonial Williamsburg scullery maid's hat and using a wadded Kleenex she's blown her nose in).

8:42 PM  
Blogger Carmen said...

That was probably the cutest set of pictures I've ever seen!

8:50 PM  
Blogger TBG said...

Happy 15 months, Miles!

8:56 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

When you write about Miles, it always brings a smile to my face, along with laughing out loud. What a cutie! Some of my favorite posts you have written include this little guy. What a little character! :)

9:14 PM  
Blogger halloweenlover said...

I love Miles!!!

That last picture is exceptionally cute, although he is always scrumptious.

10:04 PM  
Blogger LadySeduction said...

Don't feel bad about the haircut, I am the resident hair dresser at our house too. Everyone has had their turn at being butchered by me. Check my site, you will see one of my daughters with barely any bangs left from one of my attempts to get things even!! Frightening, we must be stopped!

10:17 PM  
Blogger Franny said...

Oh sooo cute. I love the haircut, and have done the same thing to my daughter. I think it's a right of passage anyhow..

10:58 PM  
Anonymous Chickadee said...

What a sweet entry. I imagine that you will be thankful years later that you took the time to write this. I love the picture of the boy with his little hip holster and toilet brush. It's like he's the potty patrolman. :)

11:16 PM  
Anonymous kilburina said...

I absolutely LOVE the photo of him with the toilet brush. What a little dote!

5:31 AM  
Blogger Amah said...

Ditto to all the above. And isn't it amazing how that special Mama can tell the difference in those words and come up with the right thing? He probably knows that you know who you are - he doesn't need to tell you LOL

8:30 AM  
Anonymous Susan said...

You have described my 17 mos old to a "T". Have you yet found him standing on the back of a toilet? That's a fun one! ;)

9:45 AM  
Blogger pink-diamonds said...

Oh, the toilet brush. James' loves that one too, not as much as the toilet plunger but the brush is a close second.

9:45 AM  
Blogger Rachelle said...

Cute lil boy! I love his vocabulary!

11:31 AM  
Blogger Gigglin' And Screamin' said...

Oh boy. Sounds like my kids! One walked around with horrible lumps, bruises, and scrapes because they had such a big temper and couldn't seem to figure out that bashing your head on the floor was painful! In one part you're lucky! Mine still won't walk but HAS figured out that he can push stools up to any counter and get whatever he wants. I tried hiding the stool and he went and found it and pushed it to the counter from two rooms away! He knows where the candy stash is and can get to it now! I think he's got it figured out that by not walking, he can get away with way more! Well, I love the pics and he's very cute!

1:09 PM  
Blogger Renee said...

I had to de-lurk for the first time to tell you that I also am feeling a little perturbed that my 17-month-old son won't say "mama." I think it's because my husband and I made it a competition and whenever William would say "Dada", I would say "mama," a little louder, to which my husband would shout "dada". So, guess who won the competition? "Dada Dada Dada!"
Love your blog.

2:08 PM  
Anonymous Jamie said...

I can't add much more but to say TOTAL CUTENESS! Love that last picture especially. You could enter that in a photo contest!

10:08 PM  
Blogger Goslyn said...

Oh my, I need to learn not to read your blog while nursing. I was laughing so hard my son latched off and stared at me like I was from outer space. Milk everywhere. LOL.

Oh so funny with the toilet brush!

12:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So glad to know mine is not the only toddler with an intense interest in toilet brushes!! Oh yes, the plunger (christened the "blopper" by my kids) is also an item of intense interest but not as fascinating to her as the (any!) toilet brush. We had to stop using the plunger because my last toddler was so obsessed with it. It became, instead, a baby toy. But the toilet brush? Ewww.

What is it with kids and their fascination with toilets and everything related? Never mind. Forget I asked that.

1:22 AM  

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