No, He Can't Win
Rob got dressed this morning and came downstairs.
"How do you like this outfit?" he asked.
"I think you look hot. I really like that belt, too." I answered, looking up from my computer.
"Why? What's wrong with the belt?"
"Nothing. I like it."
"But, why did you mention the belt? Does it make me look fat?" he asked.
"Uh, no. I said I like it."
"But you mentioned my belt specifically. Is there something wrong with it?"
"What the hell is your problem?"
"Nothing. I'm just trying to show you what you do when I give you a compliment and you pick it apart." he answered, all proud of himself, like he had pointed out something insightful of which I was not aware.
"Hmmm, I like how your shirt is puffing out like that. Is it blousing out over your belt, or is that your stomach?" I asked.
"Huh?" he asked, looking down at his shirt.
"Do you mean for it to look like that? Not that there is anything wrong with that..." I said to him.
"What?" he asked, growing increasingly alarmed and confused.
"Nothing. I'm just trying to show you what it is like to be the receiver of one of your compliments. And I use the word compliment very loosely."
"I have so much to learn."
Indeed.
"How do you like this outfit?" he asked.
"I think you look hot. I really like that belt, too." I answered, looking up from my computer.
"Why? What's wrong with the belt?"
"Nothing. I like it."
"But, why did you mention the belt? Does it make me look fat?" he asked.
"Uh, no. I said I like it."
"But you mentioned my belt specifically. Is there something wrong with it?"
"What the hell is your problem?"
"Nothing. I'm just trying to show you what you do when I give you a compliment and you pick it apart." he answered, all proud of himself, like he had pointed out something insightful of which I was not aware.
"Hmmm, I like how your shirt is puffing out like that. Is it blousing out over your belt, or is that your stomach?" I asked.
"Huh?" he asked, looking down at his shirt.
"Do you mean for it to look like that? Not that there is anything wrong with that..." I said to him.
"What?" he asked, growing increasingly alarmed and confused.
"Nothing. I'm just trying to show you what it is like to be the receiver of one of your compliments. And I use the word compliment very loosely."
"I have so much to learn."
Indeed.
31 Comments:
LOL Poor Rob!
You show him Chris! ;o)
MEN! Last night I said I was getting fat and my husband said he was getting fat, too. Thanks! I told him what he was supposed to say. ;)
LOL! That is great! I'm gonna try it on hubby this weekend!
ooh, dueling in the morning!
Mary, mom to many and known to do a bit of dueling herself at times (head hanging)
Oh, wife strikes back! Good for you. I am going to take a page from your book and try it myself, at the first given opportunity. Knowing my husband, it won't be long...
Husbands everywhere need to read this and realize that they really and truly can't win. I needed that laugh.
I'm not your side, but I can't help but feel a little sorry for your husband. He doesn't stand a chance.
Ha! Brilliant!
Paisley - I know exactly how you feel! I told Wilman I felt humongous the other day, and he said, "Oh, you're not THAT big." Er, gee thanks.
Love it! My husband recently and unwisely said "You should wear things like that more often." ...triggering something primal in my insecurity sector and when I turn slowly toward him with a staredown eye he should just throw up his hands and give up....
You are a very wicked woman.
Rob should know better that to take on an evil genius like you.
Ha! Love your blog!
haha
but Guiness....Paisley is pregnant!
lol
Poor guy probably thought it was the one time it was OKAY to say she looked chubby.
~~~
Chris- I think you are both right. We just perceive things differently.
My husband and I have such different ways of communicating.
Indeed, he does have much to learn, the first being: don't puck with you!
I'm loving your blog!
Oh, foolish mortal to open that door: you were kind. :)
my name is samantha, and i just discovered your blog. i love it! i'm 13, and my sister sounds just like that when i tell her i like her ...hair, for instance. you rock!
Touché.
Have a great weekend.
oooh, you're good.
poor guy, he doesn't stand a chance.
Rob is an alpha-male. He needs a better woman.
Ha!
That is priceless.
At least yours *tries* to give you compliments.... you know what *I* get?? "Hey, did you mean to buy that? Was it on sale? No, no, the colour's good... but ... nothing nothing... it's good. No really. Is that you're bum .... nothing... really... how much did you pay for it? Do you have the receipt? No... no.. it looks... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... new ..."
Poor guy. That is too funny.
and THAT is why you rock. I'm so inspired.
Ok...Everyone in my house just ran over to me at the computer to see why I am laughing so hard and at such a volume! You got me again, girl. So funny!
Will they ever learn? Doubt it.
HAHA!
Well played, my friend.
LOL. That was funny. I seen your blog site in BabyTalk and I love what I'm reading so far.
Love your blog! Too funny! Sounds alot like some of the conversations me and my hubby have! When will they learn! LOL
That was great, had me really laughing...men!
Love your blog, Im new.
a.
BURN!
Hrumph. That'll teach him. All his comments should be in the realm of how fabulous and skinny you are! Because you are!
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