To "Talk" or not to "Talk"
I have a new post up over at dot-moms,
Striking fear into the hearts of parents everywhere
All about The Talk. Yes, that one.
Who ever said infants and toddlers were difficult, didn't have pre teens.
Striking fear into the hearts of parents everywhere
All about The Talk. Yes, that one.
Who ever said infants and toddlers were difficult, didn't have pre teens.
10 Comments:
I dread having "The Talk" with my girls more than anything. Great post by the way. I don't think Military School is the way to go. Just send him to sleep away camp for a few weeks this summer. That's where I learned everything.
We've been leading up to The Talk with Cinderella for a couple of years now. She is 9 y/o and getting curious about Girl Stuff. This year, Hubby actually bought her one of those "where babies come from" books and then proceeded to READ IT TO HER every night while desperately trying not to blow an aneuryism.
I sympathize. I already dread the talk, and it's at least a few years away, depending on how curious my son is. Your son sounds so innocent, though... it's wonderful. The neighborhood kids in my terrible neighborhood gave me the talk before my parents could.
You are so right when you say it isn't just ONE talk.
Now that my son is 15 and has a girlfriend I feel the need to make a time to have a SERIOUS talk.
Then I have my 12 year old who is in middle school and all the kids are raging bags of hormones. So that will be more of a talk with a warning that he is WAY too young to practice anything we talk about!
lol
What a great post. My husband attempted to have 'the talk' with my 13 year old son and it was probably the funniest conversation I've ever heard (yes we rigged the baby monitor so I could listen). I think you definitely have to do more than one talk.
Hilarious! My oldest son, eight, has hinted that he might have some idea about what's going on when babies are made...but I get the feeling he doesn't *want* to know more at this point. For which I am very glad! He told me yesterday that he had a "romantic moment" with a classmate, in which they brushed hands, and according to him this contact caused "a rip in time". Now that, I can handle.
It is sooooo hard, isn't it? The two older boys, I don't think we did that great a job with them. We kinda went with church teachings and gave them some stern warnings to protect themselves and their partner if they didn't make it to marriage. When it came to SD though....I think I'm doing better. I guess I just feel like the boys are gonna figure things out regardless, but girls...they need a bit more prep time, IMO. The opportunity to discuss "The Big O" came around and I seized the moment. She's 15, and so far, thinks boys are still kind of icky, interesting, but icky. I want to make sure that when she does get in the game, (which is hopefully after she's married a loooooooong time from now) she's prepared to take charge of her sexuality and enjoy it without feeling afraid or confused. I see many, many more talks in the future!
i commented on dotmoms. good topic of discussion.
another funny story for you here.
when my second daughter was 13, we had still not talked about the mechanics of what to do when she got her period, she refused to talk about it- didn't want to hear about it, covered her ears if i started the discussion etc. so i had left it alone. but she had had a growth spurt and had developed boobs ( finally) so i knew her period would follow soon. i went to the store to buy teen tampax for her (she is a swimmer so we skip the whole pad thing) and tried to give them to her in a private moment when none of her other 4 sibs were around. i urged her to put them in her bathroom. she refused. i urged her to put them on her room. she refused. she insisted i keep them in our bathroom and then said- "and anyway, i'm not going to need a whole box of them." oh man, did we have a long way to go.
two weeks later, i was sitting at the computer and she pops by to say- oh yeah, i got my period last week. last week?!? what did you do?, i asked. she looked at me like i was an idiot- she said, duh, i read the instructions- it was easy.
so you never know.
We are about to do the talk with our oldest. He knows about the birds and the bees, but like you said in your article, we want to tell him about the emotional side of it too. The love, and commitment part.
Great article. Your son sounds so very mature. I love how he talks with you. You seem to have a great relationship with him.
My son has had most of the talk already and he's 4. HE was there when his sister came out and we have pictures, so besides the actual mechanics of how does daddy put sperm inside of mommy, we're pretty well covered. I figure at this age it's just information and why not.
I've been lurking for a while and thought I'd finally post a comment. I had PPD but didn't want to admit it and wondered every day for a year if I needed help. The day I read your poem about needing to remember to smile at your son was the day I realized that yes, I did in fact have it, which was some kind of huge relief, for reasons that remain unexplored. Thanks.
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