notesfromthetrenchesIII

My blog has moved! Redirecting...

You should be automatically redirected. If not, visit www.notesfromthetrenches.com/ and update your bookmarks.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Barely Coherent

I had a serious post I was going to put up about throwing away my scale, because it hates me and MAKES ME FEEL BAD. And yet I still torture myself with it daily. It's a sickness.

It's one of those old style scales with the dial. If I stand toward the front of the scale I can weigh about two pounds less than if I stand on the back of the scale.

Don't think I don't do that. I do. Along with exhaling all that heavy oxygen in my lungs. And worse yet, I convince myself that I weigh less when I do it. I play this little game in my head and as long as I don't stand on the back of the scale first and see the higher number then I can believe I weigh less.

Also, I am allowed to deduct a pound for the uneven tile floor. Another pound for my underwear. And up to two pounds depending on how long it has been since I pooped. Too much information? Probably, huh?

I don't know why I am surprised when I go to my obgyn and find out I weigh ten pounds more than I have convinced myself that my scale at home weighs me. But my doctor's scale is off. Lalalalala... I can't hear you.

So where am I going with this post that reads as if I am all jacked up on caffeine and haven't slept properly in over eleven years?

Ah yes, if you happen to be in your obgyn office or maybe your pediatrician's office pick up their copy of Babytalk magazine. Oh not getting a pap smear or strep test anytime soon? Then go read here. I'll wait.

Back?

Yeah, I am trying to act all cool and like it is not big deal, like my blog is always mentioned in magazines. But that's because Daring Young Mom and I already held hands and jumped up and down, squealing like giddy school girls.

Oh and any new readers stopping by. Welcome. If you are wearing white socks, you'll probably want to keep your shoes on. Kick a path through the legos, toys, and random clothing items my children drop through the house like Hansel and Gretel.

If I'd have known you were stopping by today I would have cleaned up a bit and maybe baked something. At least that is what I always say the first time someone comes over. By the second visit all pretenses are gone and I'll feel completely comfortable serving you a store bought pastry on a melamine winnie-the-pooh bear plate.



* the author of the article, Meagan Francis lost her old blog in an unfortunate blogging accident. You can find her new one here: momwithmore.blogspot.com

46 Comments:

Anonymous Whinger said...

Oh my gosh!
Congratulations!

6:27 PM  
Blogger joy madison said...

You're famous, you're famous....a famous person comments on my blog sometimes, now I'm famous by association!!! Woo HOo!!!!!!!!!!

In all seriousness, that's HUGE, and super cool! Congrats!

6:57 PM  
Anonymous Denise said...

Congratulations! I like yours best of the four she listed! She has good taste in bloggers.

7:05 PM  
Anonymous Jordana said...

Wow! That's awesome. Congratulations! And a well deserved honor it is.

7:06 PM  
Blogger Kether said...

I'm delurking to say how cool I think that is. You're definitely one of my faves since I discovered you.

I bet your scale has never been in a magazine. Just tell it that next time you step on..

7:09 PM  
Blogger Chuck Pierce said...

Wow, that is cool. They never profile stay at home blog Dad's though.. sigh.

But that is very very cool

7:12 PM  
Blogger owlhaven said...

How thrilling!! You're famous! Congrats- you deserve it!

Mary, mom to many

7:17 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

That is so cool!!! I'm happy that I can say "I read her when" ;) LOL Congratulations, you've always been one of my favorite bloggers, even before the fame!!!

7:19 PM  
Anonymous kim in mi said...

ohmygoshohmygosh
I know someone famous!
Er ... I'm an imaginary friend of someone famous ...
er ... I'm an imaginary acquaintance of someone famous ...
er ... I ... am very impressed! Way to go! :-D
Kim

7:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am sitting here with my 4 year old in my lap, surrounded by the rest of the children. We are laughing together because your house sounds like our house only louder. Keep writing. Laughter is what keeps us sane.

Samantha (13): You write with such strength and humor. You amaze me! Keep writing, I love your blog!

7:43 PM  
Anonymous Melissa said...

I think it's cool that you were mentioned. And um... all doctor scales are off. ;)

8:05 PM  
Blogger momofalltrades said...

WAY TO GO!

8:45 PM  
Blogger Kathy said...

Wow, can' I say I knew you when.....LOL

Congrats Chris. That is really cool:-)

8:59 PM  
Anonymous nabbalicious said...

WOW! Congratulations! That is so awesome.

P.S. Our scale is digital, and I believe that if I step on it a moment too soon or too late, it's given me the wrong (higher) weight, so I deduct a pound when that happens.

9:13 PM  
Blogger "D" said...

Congrats - you certainly deserve it. I'd be jumping up and down too!

9:18 PM  
Blogger TBG said...

Dont forget your original readers now that you are famous!

9:25 PM  
Blogger Wicked Stepmom said...

Very exciting. Heck, I did a little happy dance when I found my site linked off of Oh! Baby's Opinionated Parenting Blog (which is being cancelled... GRR).

Congrats!

9:32 PM  
Blogger Peggy said...

Congratulations!! I love reading your posts... especially when I need a good laugh or having a bad day.... cause I always leave here with a smile.

10:22 PM  
Blogger Paula said...

Wow! Very cool to be named in the magazine.

OK--I exhale too, and weigh myself 2-3x to take the average and make sure scale isn't acting up. But I only credit myself with 1 pound for pjs. Does OCD run in your family too? LOL

10:45 PM  
Blogger novaks8 said...

How cool is that Chris?

You have been my favorite blogger since the first time I read you.

I remember sitting here reading your archives like it was a great book or something!

You totally deserve it.

11:27 PM  
Blogger pink-diamonds said...

Ack! Your famous! Congratulations!

11:42 PM  
Blogger Ms. Mamma said...

Congrats! Congrats! Don't feel bad about the scale. If you makes you feel any better, when I looked at the Teletubbies this evening I thought I saw a resemblence to myself. You go, girl!

12:30 AM  
Blogger The Daring One said...

Oh, yes! The squealing and squealing. It's amazing how holding hands with you is never awkward.

2:59 AM  
Anonymous Maddy said...

CONGRATULATIONS, now how bloody cool is that! (it's ok, I can say that I'm an Aussie) Way to go, you are such a great writer, good on you.

4:34 AM  
Blogger Lisa said...

ROFL! Congratulations! That is really cool.

6:12 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

i knew you'd make it to stardom, chris. congratulations!

who cares how much you weigh? you're FAMOUS!

6:36 AM  
Blogger The Green Family said...

Lucky!! (Napoleon Dynamite voice)

That is sooo cool! You are my hero!

8:17 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

Wow thats awesome.. Im surprised DOOCE isnt on there! Where do you NOT see her face???

8:22 AM  
Blogger Katie said...

Wow, congrats! Also my scale died! I think it needs new batteries, I'm trying not to think that I might have killed it with my obsessive weighing.

9:09 AM  
Blogger Lori Ann said...

Totally cool. I can't believe for once I am hip before it is hip to read you!
I guess all your earlier readers already knew that!
Way to go Chris!

9:54 AM  
Blogger Kim said...

Woohooo! Congratulations Chris. I was laughing at myself because I was thinking...And I knew and met her BEFORE there was a blog. Like it makes me some bigshot. *rolls eyes*

I was sharing this with my oldest dd Michelle and she said...Is that the one with all the boys. LOL I told her she was thinking of the right mom. Then I clued her into the fact that there is a bit more estrogen in the house now.

10:18 AM  
Blogger Jody said...

How incredibly cool Chris! You totally deserve it!

As for weighing, not happening here for a long time after eating cake, cake and more birhtday cake for the last few days. I am going to explode.

12:30 PM  
Blogger Titanium said...

Congratulations! That's awesome!! :)

7:32 PM  
Blogger Sandra said...

My first time by your blog, CONGRATS :)

You had me laughing with your comments about the scale, I do the exact same thing. All things go into account, how long my hair is because that must add at least half a pound right? LOL
About 5 pounds for my clothes, another 2 for the shoes. So on and so on.

LOVE your blog :)

11:30 AM  
Anonymous Sheryl said...

yippee for you!

4:10 PM  
Blogger Journey Mama said...

I've tried to tell them at the doctor's office that their scales are off, but they always give me this LOOK. Congrats!

8:36 PM  
Blogger Meagan Francis said...

Thanks for linking to me, Chris. They did change the address to my new blog on the site, so that's something!

Your blog deserves lots of exposure!

3:35 PM  
Blogger Gigglin' And Screamin' said...

Wow! I didn't know you were famous! Very cool! Can I be your best friend? :) Congrats!

12:09 PM  
Blogger Clothing Specialist said...

Interesting blog, be sure and check out my site / blog when you get a chance at www.shoes-apparel-discount-fashion.com Thanks and have a great day.

5:46 AM  
Blogger Anne said...

I am SO SO upset that my subscription lapsed and I only saw this-this month-MAY!

Anyhoo-I ran off to tell my two oldest daughters (since they know full well who you are) and they were as excited as I am :o)

CONGA RATS BABY! You SO deserve it ;)

12:46 PM  
Anonymous Magic Kids USA said...

Got kids? If you have kids you can save enough buying kidswear at 70% off retail over the years to fund your retirement account. (Resellers buy at 40 to 60% below wholesale) This is a money saving tip and also how to avoid the usual kidswear shopping hassle by going online 24/7, - because with "Magic Kids USA"you getGirls Boys Supplies Gift Certificates Infants & Toddlers Newborns Shoes Kids clothing and the lowest prices on name brands in the country, guaranteed. Yes, they're closeouts but they're new and fresh and the latest kidswear for your darlings, names like GapKidsTM, ReebokTM, AdidasTM, OshkoshTM, GUESSTM etc.. See the catalog and save your money and time! Please write down your Discount Code of "MK25312-BL" to record on the Magic Kids web site to be sure you get all the special deals, too. Please visi tGirls Boys Supplies Gift Certificates Infants & Toddlers Newborns Shoes Kids clothing

7:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Save Enough Money buying kidswear at 70% off retail over the years to afford many kids. Because with "Magic Kids USA" you get childish baby clothing, and the lowest prices on name brands in the country, guaranteed. We're talking names like GapKidsTM, ReebokTM, AdidasTM, OshkoshTM, GUESSTM etc., - online shopping 24/7 so you not only save money but time,too! Please write down your Discount Code of "MK25312-b1" to record on the Magic Kids site to be sure you get the special deals, too. So please visit childish baby clothing

6:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Got kids? If you have kids you can save enough buying kidswear at 70% off retail over the years to add to your retirement account. (Resellers buy at 40 to 60% below wholesale) This is a money saving tip and also how to avoid the usual kidswear shopping hassle by going online 24/7, - because with "Magic Kids USA"you getdesigner kids clothes and the lowest prices on name brands in the country, guaranteed. Yes, they're closeouts but they're new and fresh and the latest kidswear for your darlings, names like GapKidsTM, ReebokTM, AdidasTM, OshkoshTM, GUESSTM etc.. See the catalog and save your money and time! Please write down your Discount Code of "MK25312-b1" to record on the Magic Kids web site to be sure you get all the special deals, too. Please visit designer kids clothes

10:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Got kids? SAVE to 70% on Name Brand Kids' clothes CLOSE OUTS...Moms and Dads buy all the GapKidsTM, ReebokTM, AdidasTM, OshkoshTM, GUESSTM, and other TOP BRANDS at "Magic Kids" 50 to 70% below retail store prices.(Resellers buy at 40 to 60% below wholesale) You'll save hundreds of dollars by simply ordering direct over the internet, 24/7, and avoid shopping hassles. See the Magic Kids online catalog of huge savings today kidswear - and your satisfaction of merchandise freshness and quality too, is guaranteed. Please write down your Discount Code of "MK25312-b1" to record on the Magic Kids site to get all special deals kidswear

1:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Leave kids millionaires? Start by saving 70% of what you spend on your kids designer clothes & shoes online at kidswear and because each dollar saved wiil be worth $4 at 8% per year by the time kids are ready for college, and worth over $50 each by the time they're thinking of retirement! Go to the web site kidswear and see the designer clothes you can buy for 30 cents on the dollar NOW and bank the difference! Note your Discount Code is MK26312-b1. Resellers buy at 60% below wholesale.kidswear

4:10 PM  
Blogger Ad Blaster said...

buy baby gift baskethttp://www.buybaby-gift.infoArguing with a zealot is only slighty easier that tunnelling through a mountain with your frehead.buy baby gift basket

12:30 AM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home