Proving He Is Man In Training

Yesterday it felt like I spent all of my free time searching online for children's fancy pants clothing. The boys were easy, and boring. A suit is a suit is a suit, not much to be excited about beyond double breasted or not, and black, navy or charcoal.

And in the end I decided that I had better shop for those in person so that they will fit properly. Can I tell you how excited I am to shop with five boys who would rather have their toenails pulled off one by one than venture into a clothing store of any kind. Shopping with them will be a testament to my mental fortitude, or lack thereof.

But little girl dresses, that is a whole 'nother world. Words like satin, silk, tulle, velvet, embroidered bodice make my heart beat a little quicker. My daughter wants a princess dress and who am I to deny her? As long as the dress doesn't look like she is walking the runway in one of those freak child beauty pageants or make her look like a trollop in training, she (and by default, me) can have it.

So, yeah, we have been looking at lots of dresses online. Which led to the following conversation with my nine year old son.


"I thought you found a dress you liked this morning," he said, looking over my shoulder at my computer screen .

"I did." I answered, scrolling down the screen.

"Then why are you still looking for another one?"

"Just in case I find one I like more." I paused to more closely examine a stunning two-tone taffeta gown with an ivory taffeta bodice with peasant sleeves and an irredescent olive taffeta skirt with crinolines and a full lining. A large band at the empire waistline has velvet flowers and vines embroidered. A large sash bow in the back and full zipper closure. I fanned myself.

"But, if you just bought that one and stopped looking you would never know if there was another one out there that you might like better."

"Deep down inside I would not be satisfied if I knew I hadn't perused every single option available to me. If I hadn't looked at every single dress that was currently being manufactured somewhere in the world, I would not feel whole."

"Why?"

"I'm beginning to realize that your kind can't help it. It's just in the Y chromosome, isn't it?"

And I haven't even thought about shoes yet.