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Wednesday, January 25, 2006

A Morning

For purposes of comparison I will begin my day at the same time as Carmen.

5:30 I am still asleep.

6:10 Still sleeping.

6:12 - 6:15 Yup, asleep.

6:15 Rob's alarm goes off for the first time and I punch and hiss at him to hurry up and turn the damn thing off before it wakes the baby up. No such luck, the baby snuggles up and wants to nurse.

6:24 Rob's alarm goes off for the second time. The baby sits up and whips his head around, almost taking my nipple with him. Yell at Rob to turn the alarm off, not hit the snooze. Settle the baby back down to nurse some more.

6:33 Rob's alarm goes off yet again. I finally sit up and reach over him to turn the alarm OFF. Tell him one of these days I am going to throw it across the room. It's been 14 years and I haven't done it yet, but one of these days I will.

6:35-6:45 Lay in bed cursing the inventor of the snooze alarm, while the baby jumps on me, pulling my hair, head butting, and generally bleating like an injured sheep.

6:45 My 6 yr old comes into my room to tell me that the baby woke him up again this morning and why can't the baby be more quiet.

6:45 Head into my bathroom, take my mouth tray out, rinse out my mouth and give Rob a time check. (Yes, I am that sexy in the morning.)

6:46 Pick up the baby, run down the hallway with him hoping that he will be quiet and not scream outside of anyone's bedroom door, especially the 2 yr old. I really need my coffee before seeing her bright shiny face in the morning.

6:47 Make coffee, drink my first glass of water and take my thyroid medication

6:48 Sit on couch with 6 yr old and wait for the coffee to be ready. Think about how energy is wasted on the youth and wonder why he needs to talk so much. Change the baby's diaper. Give up on trying to wrestle him back into his pajamas and let him walk around with the legs of his sleeper trailing along behind him.

6:55 Coffee is done and look for my special coffee mug, which in reality is an insulated travel mug that long ago lost it's lid. I realize that it is in the dishwasher and that I forgot to turn it on last night. I take it out and wash it by hand (gasp!) and turn the dishwasher on. Rob grabs a cup of coffee, we discuss our plans for the day, and he leaves for work.

7:00 I go to use the bathroom. On the way back from the bathroom I notice the laundry. I take the snow clothes out of the dryer and put them away in the closet. Each kid has their own hook and wire basket with their name. I switch the wet clothing from the washer into the dryer.

7:15 Remember my coffee. grab my coffee and go sit on the couch with my 6 yr old and 5 yr old who has just come downstairs.

7:30 let them turn on PBS. Get up and head into kitchen. Get my laptop out. Pick up all the tupperware on the floor that the baby has scattered across the room. Notice that someone (okay, me) left the bag of garbage in the kitchen last night instead of bringing it to the can outside. The baby has pulled stuff out of it and scattered it across the floor as well.

7:35 Finish cleaning up the kitchen floor and head outside with the garbage, while the baby walks behind me screaming like I am taking away his most precious possession.

7:40 Sit down with computer and check email, news, and a few blogs.

7:50 Begin making breakfast. This morning it is pumpkin raisin bread. Make the batter, with help, while listening to the 5 yr old complain that he wants French toast and how I never make it. For the record, I just made it a couple days ago.

8:05 Put pumpkin bread into oven. Put tupperware back into the cabinets. Head back to laundryroom and begin folding clothes. The baby helps by taking items out of the basket and throwing them around the room.

8:10 My 8 yr old son comes downstairs. He sits at the breakfast room table and talks to me while I continue to fold clothes.

8:20 Two yr old wakes up. negotiate terms of her using the potty. Twelve mini marshmallows and a song.

8:21 hold 1 yr old back from toilet with my foot. Do butt duty while standing on one leg.

8:23 Hand out marshmallows

8:24 Test them to make sure they taste okay. Test a few more.

8:26 Phone rings. I can't find it. Okay, I don't really look, but assume if it is important they will call back.

8:28 Cell phone rings. It is Rob calling to say good morning and ask why I didn't answer the phone.

8:30 In a completely atypical and never done before event, my 9 yr old comes downstairs. Usually he sleeps in very late and requires me to go upstairs and rouse him several times before he gets up. He says he got up early to help make French toast. Huh? Is this some sort of conspiracy?

8:35 Tell 9 yr old to take his medicine. He tells me he would prefer me to use the word pills.

8:37 Ask 9 yr old if he would like me to get his pills for him

8:38-8:49 Try to remain calm in the face of 9 yr old and his ADHD self. Go to my internal happy place where it is always sunny and peaceful.

8:50 Tell 9 yr old that if he takes his medication right away, I'll let him help make French toast

8:51 Experience the joy that is an ADHD child before his medication kicks in. Something that only people who have a child like this can understand. He is belligerent, has no impulse control, and provokes everyone around him. Chant "happy place, happy place" to myself.

8:55 Begin making French toast.

9:00 First batch is done. Realize that someone has turned the dishwasher off and all dishes are still dirty. Curse a bit. Wash dishes by hand. Clean off stove top. Scrape dried egg off where it has splattered.

9:30 A dozen eggs and two loaves of bread later, breakfast is done. Clean off breakfast room table.

9:31 Eleven yr old asks if he can have a snack.

9:32 Load breakfast dishes into dishwasher and turn it on. Hand wash pans.

9:39 Look at to do list. Nothing that has to be done this morning. Add calling tuxedo rental place for the tuxedo the 6 yr old needs for the wedding of Rob's niece.

9:40 Pick tupperware up off of the floor yet again.

9:41 Go upstairs. Make my bed and beds of three littles. Brush my teeth, wash my face. tie hair back into a pony tail. Get dressed and wear extremely unfashionable, yet comfortable, straight leg jeans, a white long sleeved GAP shirt, and a lime green v-neck sweater from Old Navy. Feel good about doing my part to support cheap foreign child labor. Pick out clothes for 1 and 2 yr olds. On the way back downstairs yell to other children to gather up their schoolwork and meet me downstairs. Remind 5 and 6 yr olds to bring their dirty clothes baskets to the laundry room.

9:55 Torture 1 and 2 yr olds by forcing them to wear clothing and have their hair brushed.

9:57 Do the laundry switch again. Grab an empty laundry basket and fill it with all the children's snow clothes and boots for tubing this afternoon. Haul it over to the door so that we don't forget it.

10:00 Yell up the stairs once more for the stragglers to come down with their school books. Head outside to install brand new carseat in the van for the one year old.

And that concludes the morning at my house.
My God, my life is boring when detailed in all it's splendor. Though admittedly there is lots of things that have been omitted, but those were the even more boring things like telling people to brush their teeth or put the baby gate back up on the stairs before the baby plummets to his death.


Blogger blackbird said...

I love this kind of post -- I get to spy on your life...
and though we are far apart in our lifestyles, there are so many things I can relate to.
While you go to your happy place with your ADHD boy, I am learning to help my 20(!)year old ADHD boy function without his 'pills.'
No one scatters the tupperware, but someone always forgets something at school -
blah blah blah.
Thanks for the peek, I like it.

12:28 PM  
Anonymous kim said...

I like peeks like that, too. It makes me feel a little more normal, to see other people with mornings like mine. Except that sometimes our morning chores take all morning and my exceedingly spacey six year old still doesn't have her hair brushed at 12:44.

12:43 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

I forgot to run the dishwasher last night too. Dishwashers need a sensor to realize they are full of dirty dishes and run themselves after a few hours if not started sooner. Love the PJ's with the feet trailing behind, my kids do that too.

1:24 PM  
Blogger JeepGirl said...

Oh my, I'm normal! Thank you god!!

You sound like a great mom. I used to (between #2 & #3 child) get up in the morning and get an hour walk in (only time I could find). But, now, HA that sleep time is very precious to me.
Also, I gave up on having the alarm clock on his side of the bed. I moved it on my side so I could have control of it.

(I can't believe you get your coffee into that schedule) I have to wait to get to work in order to get my morning java.

1:40 PM  
Blogger O_Scientist said...

My morning with seven kids.

Thanks for sharing!


1:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

delurking to say i am tired just reading that! ...oh, and i think your blog is great. so real. Cheers, Lisa

2:06 PM  
Anonymous Lauren said...

Hi Chris,
You sound quite busy, I hope you'll have time for a very easy meme I tagged you with, directions are on my site. :)

2:18 PM  
Blogger halloweenlover said...

Oh Chris, I'm in awe. Can I tell you how very frazzled I am trying to get MYSELF dressed and my dogs fed? That is all I have to do. And I don't blow dry my hair, wear makeup, and often (shhhh) don't even shave my legs. I have no excuse.

How will I ever be able to take care of a child??!!

2:29 PM  
Blogger Meg said...

It takes you that long to get to pee in the morning!?!?!?!?! Good lord, woman...

2:54 PM  
Anonymous HolyMama! said...

i have no idea where you find the time to tell us nosy people about your morning - but i'm so glad you did! Oddly fascinating.

3:08 PM  
Blogger wordgirl said...

So that's why it's so hard to give a brief answer when someone has the balls to ask, "What is it you DO all day?"

3:46 PM  
Blogger Annalise said...

Too funny, our alarm goes off at 6.15 and 6.24 and 6.33 too :-) What is up with those nine minute intervals? I get up the second time it goes off, though, and Bobs gets up the third time. So tomorrow morning when you wake up, remember I've been through the same waking up process a few hours before on this side of the Atlantic. :-) (Only, sadly, sans nursing baby - I miss those days!)

3:53 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

I'll be putting up my morning. Notice I didn't say routine.

3:56 PM  
Blogger WriteWingNut said...

In my head, I am going to pretend that you made that all up. So that I will feel less guilty. You make homemade pumpkin bread and french toast while doing all the other things you're doing? No, I refuse to believe it, lol.

4:39 PM  
Blogger deputyswife said...

Thanks for sharing your morning. I know you tried to make it sound boring, but I am still in awe on how you do it all.

5:22 PM  
Blogger InterstellarLass said...

Dishwashers need to run themselves. Kids need to feed themselves. I'm glad neither of mine are in diapers anymore! You sound like you do a great job!

5:26 PM  
Blogger owlhaven said...

Just for fun, I posted my morning on my blog too.

6:14 PM  
Blogger Kathy said...

That was fun...I posted too.

7:34 PM  
Blogger Kristen said...

I don't know how you do it. I only have two kids, but once they're up, if I'm not already dressed, I'll be in pajamas all day long. And you didn't mention much about yelling and fighting kids. I find that amazing.

9:05 PM  
Blogger Lori said...

This was fun to read, thanks for sharing!


9:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my god, I couldn't even finish reading about her morning... wore me out, I have an easy going 11 year old daughter - good luck in the big yellow house! But I will certainly save as a favorite blog, made me laugh.

10:11 PM  
Blogger Sleeping Mommy said...

Um, I'm exhausted just reading that and I had a busy day (for me) so I'm going to go to bed now. Early. I hope you will too. :)

10:30 PM  
Anonymous erin said...

I am so exhausted just reading that!

11:14 PM  
Anonymous Liz in Australia said...

Thanks for the peek into your world. I'm amazed you can make pumpkin bread and French toast that early in the morning... I can barely make myself toast and my 8yo oatmeal (which is as close as it gets to a cooked breakfast around here). Anyone wanting me to cook anything more complicated than that before lunchtime is out of luck!

3:12 AM  
Anonymous Kristie said...

Your house sounds just like mine. JUST like mine, exactly. Except yours has way more kids, and mine has way more yelling. :)

8:56 AM  
Blogger Tuesday Girl said...

Wow I am tired just reading that.

10:11 AM  
Blogger The Doggy Did It said...

WOW, I feel like such a slacker with only one kid...although my two year old son keeps me pretty busy! You must be supermom! I love your blog, let me know if you ever need someone to bring you some fresh coffee!!


10:23 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

I'm not quite as active in the mornings as you are. My kids sleep until too late, then I fix lunch, oversee schoolwork for the two older ones, and keep telling the two little ones to "go play" while I work. Fun! :D

10:28 AM  
Blogger bogus said...

Man, that really was boring, wasn't it? ;oP

Seriously, thanks for the peek into your life. Your sense of humor shines even in the midst of the mundane, but that is no surprise. How else would one stay sane?

2:57 PM  
Blogger Julie said...

Wow-- your life sounds really busy. How you have time to even write a post in amazing to me.

3:24 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

Thanks for the little insight of your busy life! I laughed out loud at every comment about Miles. You have a talent at writing, and I can just see him flipping his little head around while nuring, hahaha. He is adorable!

I wanted to ask, what made you decide to homeschool, if you dont mind sharing? Have any of your children ever been in preschool, private or public school, ever?? Just curious. I really wish I could home school my eight year old, but currently am working out of the home and in college. I know that I could give him an ACTUAL education. I shudder at what he ISNT learning in school.

4:53 PM  
Anonymous tworingcircus said...

God, I can SO relate to the ADHD meds issue...

Jake forgot his today. Within 3 mins of meeting him at daycare, I could he made it through school today, I don't know, and he just finished very hard homework without me killing him. Maybe we are outgrowing the need...wouldn't THAT be a deal???

You do a great job of managing all the details. I have two kids and I'm a single parent working full time and I have to admit that your life sounds nice to me...busy, but happy...mine is just busy and stressful...LOL!

6:11 PM  
Blogger Cori said...

I don't think three kids qualifies me as a Large Family but I posted my morning schedule at my site. I don't know how you and Carmen do it all.

Tried to post a comment yesterday but blogger was down for maintanence.

7:41 PM  
Blogger Random Tom said...

Thanks for the grins!! I have a 4-year old girl and a 1-year old boy, and while we differ on scale, I can definitely relate on food choices!. The current favorite is oatmeal in this house. We already know that no matter what meal it is, the girl wants oatmeal.

4:56 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

I am totally (shamefully) late posting mine. But I have an excuse, blogger was updating when I WANTED to yesterday. My life is nowhere near as busy as yours Chris but, maybe just as insane! ;)

3:10 PM  
Anonymous nabbalicious said...

I just read through this, and wow. I need a nap. You just amaze me!

1:55 PM  
Blogger Silly Old Bear said...

I gave up the second time the snooze alarm went off and booked a one way ticket to Jamaica. Alone.

My hat's off to you, that is amazing.

12:12 PM  
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