And We'll Have Fun, Fun, Fun 'Til The Mommy Goes Crazy

Do you ever have one of those times when you wish you could just leave your body and float far far away?

I had just that experience today. Why you might ask?

I had to bring my van to the auto repair shop to have the annual emissions testing done. Today was the last day that I could have it done for $20, after today it would be $20 plus a $20 late fine. The fine would have been worth the price of my sanity.

If someone offered me $20 to sit in a crowded waiting room for an hour and a half with my wild children- why oh why did I feed them pop tarts in the van on the way over there- I would have laughed in their face, yet that is essentially what I did. yes I realize I could have gone and had my van inspected any time during the sixty previous days and avoided such a scene, but what can I say, other than, "shut-up. Just shut-up.".

The highlights of my day included:

A 4 yr old who kept (loudly) calling the man in waiting room with a long black coat, black hat, black pants, black shoes, and black shirt, Indiana Jones and questioning where he kept his whip. But it did give my 9 yr old the idea for a Halloween costume, and now I only have to sew him a faux leather jacket. Good Lord, I only agreed to sew it to make them stop talking about Indiana Jones in front of this poor man. (Personally I thought he looked more like Neo, from the Matrix, but the kids have not seen that movie.)

A 4 yr old who kept (loudly) commenting on the appearance of everyone in the waiting room, like gee that lady has big legs, doesn't she?

A 4 yr old and an 8 yr old who got into a knock down drag out brawl over a chair, though there were numerous other vacant chairs to sit on, especially since all the people were all scared off by the 4 yr olds running commentary... or maybe the 8 yr olds hacking cough and his refusal to cover his mouth.

A 6 yr old who questioned whether wearing earrings made a boy look more like a girl, in front of all the men who work in the car shop and all wear earrings.

A 6 yr old who licked, yes licked, the glass front door of this auto repair shop.

A 2 yr old who kept spinning the magazine rack so fast that all the magazines kept flying off of it across the room.

A baby who made a stinky stinky room clearing poop with the knowledge that I had left the diaper bag in the van which was at that point in the air and inaccessible. Okay, maybe the baby didn't really know I had left the clean diapers in the van, but he should have. He is nine months old afterall, hardly a newborn anymore.

A husband who calls me in the midst of this "fun" and says, just give it an hour or two and you'll find the humor in it.

I'm still waiting.