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Friday, October 14, 2005

Thoughts On A Rainy Day

My pregnancy with my daughter was no different than it had been with any of the boys. There was no real discernible difference. That is something people loved to ask me during all my pregnancies following the first one.

"Do you feel different?" or "Are you carrying differently?"

The one and only thing that was different was I had an overwhelming craving for all things citrus. I could not drink enough orange juice, lemonade, and other citrusy foods. I would call Rob up at work and demand that he stop at the store and buy me orange juice. And leave work soon, I don't care what you are doing. It's for the baby! The baby needs vitamin C. With all the boy pregnancies I craved tomatoes and put ketchup on everything. I would make french fries just to have a socially acceptable tool for getting the ketchup into my mouth.

But with my daughter, I must have consumed a half gallon of orange juice alone per day.

Oh, and the lemonade at McDonald's was just too strong of a craving for me to pass up. One day I drove through the drive through bought a lemonade, drank it on the way out of the driveway and promptly pulled back in and bought another one. I'm sure the drive through girl thought I was nuts, but I was pregnant, dammit, I needed that lemonade.

Then there was the time that I was a a party thrown by the wife of Rob's boss. She had a few drinks too many and added to her already boisterous personality was a bad combination. She paraded me around the party commenting on my "fat ass".

I know that in her own twisted way she was trying to make me feel good, to be encouraging, to make me feel hopeful that I could be carrying a fetus of the female variety, but dear lord the last thing you want when you are 6 months pregnant and dressed up for a party and thinking you are looking pretty nice, despite the weight of an extra person you are carrying around, is for someone to point out the spread of your backside.

She kept saying over and over and over again, 'I just *know* you are having a girl. I mean look at how big your ass is!' And then she would pull someone over and ask them what they thought. If they said boy she would turn me around and point to my "fat ass".

Finally I told her that if I had a girl I would forgive her, but if it were a boy I'd would have no choice but to hunt her down and hurt her, possibly kill her, for the humiliation she was forcing me to endure. I'm sure that in the back of Rob's co-workers minds I am forever the wife with the fat ass.

And so since I had a girl I have forgiven her, sort of.

It also helps that her husband got a different job and I don't have to see her ever again.


Blogger Kirsten said...

You are cracking me up! I craved milk, like by the gallon moo moo for like, 6 months of my pregnancy....go figure!

1:29 PM  
Blogger blackbird said...

ex-bosses wife is just awful...that was a terrible thing to do (making a cringing face).

I felt very different with each of my three boys pregnancies -- and they are totally different people. As they were boys though, my ass did not spread (though I have heard that).

For Oldest I wanted Hagen Dazs chocolate ice cream cups, Middle, I wanted salty things, and Youngest had me eating lemons!

1:54 PM  
Blogger TBG said...

oh wow that was really obnoxious.

Thank goodness she was a girl man I would not have wanted to be that lady if you had another boy.

1:57 PM  
Blogger Gretchen said...

Hmm well then, take me to see her and she can declare ME to be pg with a girl, but hey! I'm not even pregnant! LOL Seriously, 6 boys in a row - so how do you explain MY fat ass? I think it has more to do with chocolate....

If I look at this from another direction, thank god I didn't have girls, as I can barely fit my rear in a pair of pants anyway! LOL

1:58 PM  
Anonymous Jordana said...

I've seen pictures of you. If your ass was ever "fat" I'd be truly shocked. But all that aside, I got the stretch marks on mine when I was pregnant with my son.

4:00 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

I craved citrus and tomato things too....just citrus with my son and I couldn't get enough tomato sauce with my daughter. How funny that they are completely opposite of your experience. Why is it that people think they have the right to comment on your body when you're carrying a child? Where's the justice??

4:11 PM  
Blogger nabbalicious said...

Some people can be so clueless! Rude.

Seeing how I often crave batter and dough, I shudder to think what kinds of things I would get cravings for if I were ever pregnant! Could it be...normal food??

4:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my God, that is a horrible thing to say! You could have said, "yeah, well, I'm pregnant, what's your excuse" or something. But don't listen to me - I'm a sassypants. That's just awful. I'm glad you don't have to see her anymore.

9:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, I can't imagine running into that woman!! I have 7 girls, and it's not so much that my rear is big, but my stomach.. Sounds like she was more than a little jealous of you, rightly so.

12:29 AM  
Blogger Annalise said...

That woman sounds utterly obnoxious!

I mean, what the heck are you supposed to say when someone who has an in with your dh's boss is asking other people to look how fat your ass is??


1:46 AM  
Blogger robiewankenobie said...

watermellon with lemon sorbet. oh, sooooo good. baked french fries. and meat. which is weird for a vegetarian girl.

also? my brother's were kind enough to spare me my family nickname "big moose" while i was pregnant. isn't that sweet? *snort*

7:54 AM  
Blogger Jody said...

Good Lord, I can't believe you didn't smack her!

I craved Sonic real lime slushes towards the end of Mia's pregnancy, but for the first 22 weeks I craved the porcelain thrown because I was so...damn....sick with her. All I could eat was iceburg lettuce with blue cheese dressing until around 14 weeks. It was gross.

My ass got big with all my kids and remains a not so firm reminder of my 4 pregnancies.

9:33 AM  
Blogger Katja said...

So does you daughter like Orange Juice? It is so funny, because my Mum craved Lemon Icecream when she was pregnant with me and I absolutely hate it to this day!

11:20 AM  
Blogger eko said...

For my second (boy) I craved and ate hundreds of popsicles.

The boss wife's behaviour is yet another reason adults should not get drunk.

12:49 PM  
Blogger Carol said...

I have to agree with you and the lemonade. I do not eat McDonalds, but for some reason I bought it during my first pregnancy and COULD NOT GET ENOUGH. I also ate cornichons with it...loved it...and guess what? A girl was born!

Oh- and my bum was pretty big too!

Thanks for the laugh!

5:56 PM  
Blogger Jody said...

That would be "throne". I have 4 kid brain mush syndrome.

10:02 AM  
Blogger Meg said...

Wow, that's just like me! I drank lemonade like a crazy person the whole time I was PG and then gained all my baby weight in my bedonkadonk...

9:12 AM  
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1:36 PM  
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4:04 AM  
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4:43 PM  

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