Sick Kids

I hate when my kids are sick. It gives me huge pangs of anxiety. Unfortunately my husband is the same way. So when one of our kids gets sick the two of us snap at each other and alternate saying things like, "How sick do you think he is?" or "Well, really, how sick could he be?" or "It's not like he has some horrible life threatening illness, right?" And then we cross ourselves, knock on wood and throw some salt over our shoulder, just for good measure for even daring to think such a thing.

My 10 yr old has been sick for a week and a half now. His symptoms are odd and varied. It began with pains in his legs and hips. The first few days we chalked it up to pulled muscles. After all, who wouldn't be sore with all that never ending baseball playing.

But it didn't feel better as I would have expected in a few days. If anything, he began to feel worse. I was especially troubled when he began limping. Then he started having headaches. The headaches were bad enough that he was crying and holding his head in his hands. Tylenol and Advil took the edge off of the pain for him, but it was never completely gone.

I brought him to the doctor last week and he had a panel of bloodwork done as well as xrays. The xrays were normal, but we have not yet received all the results of the bloodwork.

I keep looking at the other kids, half hoping- half wishing that they would get sick also because then it would mean it was something that he caught from somewhere and he would probably just get better on his own. I need some reassurance that he doesn't have some sort of degenerative- muscle- eating- brain- and- central- nervous- system- attacking- snotty- attitude- inducing bacteria. Oh wait, the snotty attitude is always there, scratch that symptom.

There have been moments of levity. Like when he was crying and bemoaning his fate and suddenly screamed, pointing to one of his brothers, "Why can't he be sick?!? Why does this always happen to me?!?" Yes, that is the sort empathetic behavior we encourage at our house. When I laughed he became even more irate, because how dare I laugh when he is sick.

Another moment came when he asked me if he was bit by something and is sick because he needs a shot of anti venom. I questioned what it was that could possibly have bitten him. I was met with exasperation and told, "If I knew that, I would know what would make me better." And I discovered that being really sick and having migraine headaches doesn't prevent a person from rolling their eyes.

When my 9 yr old told me Saturday afternoon that he was feeling tired I harassed him endlessly asking him if he felt sick. He finally yelled at me to leave him alone. "It's almost like you want me to be sick," he said accusingly. How do I tell him that yes, in fact I would like that.

I can handle coughs, colds, even vomiting and upset stomachs. Those are "normal" and while I cleaning up vomit makes me dry heave, it doesn't fill me with oppressive chest crushing anxiety.

And so I sit here now, waiting for the rest of test results to come in, peddling Advil and Tylenol like a drug dealer, hoping he suddenly just begins to feel better on his own, and knocking on all the wood I can find.

Including wood laminate, just to be on the safe side.


Updated to add: I just got off the phone with the doctor and his bloodwork came back positive for Lyme Disease. (Insert me using lots of swear words here). It is enough to make me want to pack it all in and move to the city where we would only have to deal with crime, pollution, and crazy street people. I realize in the scheme of things it isn't so awful, but I'd prefer my kids to just stay healthy, thankyouverymuch.