notesfromthetrenchesIII

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Sunday, June 04, 2006

Baseball is a metaphor for everything

A few nights ago I was talking to my two oldest sons about the power of positive thinking and the self fulfilling power of negative thoughts. Of course this was all in relation to baseball, because aside from Legos their thoughts are consumed with little else.

One of them has been having a lot of trouble at bat during games. At the pitching machine... he hits everything beautifully. When the coach is pitching, or during practices, the same.

But put him up at bat during a game and it is like looking at a different kid. There is no explanation for it, other than the negative self speak. The coaches come up to us, privately, and say that he should be the best on the team. That is what all the evidence during practice would suggest. And yet, time after time, in a game situation he fails to come through.

So I began this conversation telling them both that I wanted them to think positive thoughts when they got up to bat. I gave them a little mantra to say when they got up at home plate. "I am a hitter. I can do it. I can hit a homerun. I can do it." They looked at me like I had lost my mind.

"I'm not saying that," my ten year old protested.

"You don't have to go up to there and shout it, though maybe that would scare everyone else away from you. No, you say it in your head."

From the way they protested you would think I had suggested they go up to bat naked.

*************

A few days ago I got an "opportunity" to get paid for some writing. If we use the word "opportunity" to mean "lay down while we run you over with a steam roller to extract every last ounce of your soul from your body and then pay you a pittance". I don't want to get into details because it seems as though they could be a particularly litigious club group. But suffice it to say that the offer was insulting. And not just insulting to me, because I am sitting on some sort of high horse, just plain old insulting to writers everywhere ( imagine my sweeping arm gesture which encompasses all of you)

As I said to the person offering the job, if I accept this sort of job I am basically saying that what I do has no value. That my writing and the writing of other women and mothers (not to exclude men out there, but this offer was a mom thing) is worth nothing. And I don't believe that. I can't believe that.

I told the person offering the job that I hoped no one accepts this job under these terms. But I know someone will. I know someone will believe the lie that we have been collectively fed, that mothering, and the writing about mothering, has no value, that you should be happy for a little pat on your head. Now go sit in the corner, fiddle with your pearls, and look pretty.

Writing about being in the trenches of motherhood is revolutionary. Our mothers didn't have this outlet. Being able to write honestly about all facets of our lives is freeing. Finding out that other women feel like an outcast from the "perfect mother" club is comforting.

I seethed over it for days, and a wise friend told me I needed to let it go, and I have. Or rather will after I write this. She also asked what I was going to do about it. Do? Isn't my outrage enough.

And as I began to hem and haw she said, well you have a safety net I have kids to feed, that's the difference. No, it's more than a safety net I had said. I couldn't think of what it really was. Safety net implies that you are doing something, but what will be caught if you fall. No, I have been treating my life as a crutch.

Have I worked on my book at all in the past few months? No.

Why not? Oh the reasons I could give are numerous and varied. With seven kids people don't expect much of you. If my shoes match and my shirt is buttoned correctly, people are impressed. The world is my enabler. But, if I have time for this I have time to do writing that will pay me.

In the end though it comes down to the negative self talk. My own reluctance to step up to the plate and claim the title of writer, lest some one slap me down. My life long pattern of giving up, so that I don't have to fail.

'Tis easier to stand motionless at homeplate, ostensibly waiting for the perfect pitch, blaming the pitcher for lousy throws, blaming the umpire for bad calls, than it is to claim the game as your own, to swing with all you heart, all your strength, and strike out.

Old habits are hard to change, the negative self talk even harder.

So now it is my turn up at the plate. I understand fully the protests of my sons. I feel naked.

"I am a writer. I can do it."

68 Comments:

Blogger Lazy cow said...

And when you do write it, I'll definitely buy it. Follow your dreams.

9:17 AM  
Anonymous Neighbor Jane Payne said...

You're not a-kidding you're a writer, you have talent extraordinare. Every post you have at least one sentence that makes me think, "Now how did she come up with that?" This time it was, "Now go sit in the corner, fiddle with your pearls, and look pretty." The next time you sit at your keyboard (with clothes on) remember there are people who want to read what you have written.

9:20 AM  
Anonymous Fold My Laundry Please said...

I could definitely do with some more positive self talking myself! I have lots of things I would like to do with my life but always seem to find excuses to not do them.

9:22 AM  
Blogger Karen Rani said...

You ARE a writer. I applaud you for holding out for a better deal. I think you have some serious convictions and "write-ly" so. You deserve big bucks and good publicity for your writing and I know that once your book/column comes out, I will be one of the first in line to buy it. Go you!

Always in awe,
Karen

9:53 AM  
Blogger CaliforniaGrammy said...

I'll be the second one in line following Karen. You ARE a writer, and a damn good one too . . . just go for it! Stand on your tip-toes and reach for the stars.

11:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would pre-order your book and even pay the hard cover price without flinching! I love your blog!

11:59 AM  
Anonymous Ashley said...

Can I order an advance copy of your book? I agree with Lazy Cow: Follow your Dreams.

Just look at Julie Powell. She doesn't have 7 kids to write about. She decided to cook all of the recipes in Julia Child's "Mastering the Art of French Cooking" in one year. She started a blog to track her progress. The blog spun itself off into one of the funniest books of the year. And she was a secretary!

I've always thought you were the next Erma Bombeck. You are a writer and we know that you can do it!

12:37 PM  
Blogger Mary-LUE said...

The scary part of doing is that you have to be prepared to fail. It is a big risk, but in the end, worth it. And, as you can see, you have tons of people who are behind you and believe you are a great writer.

12:43 PM  
Blogger Wicked Stepmom said...

Hoorah for you!
Love your writing.
Love your blog.
Would certainly buy your book if for no other reason than to say "hey! I 'knew' her when!"

2:08 PM  
Blogger Qalballah said...

You've inspired me! I hold your hand and sayeth to the world:

I am a writer. I can do it.







Right after I wiped some crap up. Be right back (in eighteen years). But you are so right. The time doing this is time you could be doing something which will pay.

Don't you find it harder to write than to blog? Or is that just me?

Go on Chris. Hibernate the blog and knuckledown - you know you can do it. We know you can do it. You've had the pracice now go out there and bat for real.

2:15 PM  
Blogger chel said...

Chris, Our greatest life is when we are in our dreams awake. You are already doing it, maybe you just haven't realized that yet:-) Good luck girl, You help me see there is a funny side to everything, it's all in how you look at it. Reach for the stars, they are closer than you know.

3:31 PM  
Blogger momofalltrades said...

Go for it Chris! You have a huge readership, and we all believe you can do it! I've sat up into the wee hours of the morning reading your blog, shaking my head, laughing out loud just amazed at what a neat gal you are. You live across the country, but through your writing, I feel like we live next door. It takes a special talent to inspire that feeling of familiarity. You are gonna write an AWESOME book!

3:55 PM  
Anonymous Elizabeth said...

I will also preorder and pay the hardback cost, and shipping! LOL - wait a minute, you weren't going to write a romance novel, were you???

Yes, indeedy, you are a writer. Maybe if you start a blog on being a WRITER writing a book while in the trenches of motherhood, you'll HAVE to write the book in order to have something to blog about. This is the convoluted way I convince myself to do things, and it works some of the time.

7:16 PM  
Blogger Danielle said...

You are a writer already. I love your blog and check everyday. You insipre me.

7:27 PM  
Anonymous Maliavale said...

Good for you! Rah, rah, rah! That is excellent. You won't regret just "doing" even if the minute-to-minute is difficult.

7:34 PM  
Anonymous Beth said...

Saint Erma of Bombeck would say: "Of course you are a writer! Any writer would be thrilled to have such source material as you have been blessed with. Go forth, my child, and Write."

Erma got her start writing humor as a newspaper columnist. And this was back in the Fifties, when when mothers really WERE expected to sit and fiddle with their pearls. You would be brilliant, writing humorous op/ed pieces in any local newspaper. I expect you would have an immediate and loyal readership.

8:07 PM  
Anonymous nabbalicious said...

Good for you for recognizing your own value. And whatever you write, I'll totally buy it. You're a terrific writer!

8:30 PM  
Blogger MMC said...

Fannnnnnttttaaaaaasssstiiccccc post!

Write it, and many will fork over their duckets to read...

9:08 PM  
Blogger Carmen said...

Where you channeling me when you wrote this? I've gotten 26k words done, and JUST.STOPPED.

I've got a million reasons not to, or excuses rather, but I just need to do it.

Thanks for the kick in the pants, Chris.

9:14 PM  
Blogger liz said...

I've got my wallet out. Print it and it will sell.

10:26 PM  
Anonymous Tammy said...

You are definately a writer! I read your blog religiously!! By all means please get on with the book and let me know when it goes to print so I can buy a copy. But please don't stop blogging while you write. I would go through terrible withdrawals!!

10:35 PM  
Blogger Antique Mommy said...

Email me and let me know who proffered the job offer so when they are desperately scraping the bottom of the barrel and call me I can say no too. Unless that cheap tramp that lives in my head that is desperate for attention takes over, then who knows, I might take a job writing obituaries.

11:31 PM  
Blogger zingarette said...

You go girl. You know we all love and support you, and you've got women everywhere who will buy that book. We're behind you every step of the way!

12:04 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Good for you Chris. You can do it.

7:06 AM  
Blogger Katie said...

Awesome! You can do this!

7:58 AM  
Blogger Junosmom said...

I also was asked to write for pay, and was insulted by the pay, deadline, etc. Told them I couldn't do it. Yet, I write on my blog daily for free. The difference for me is that my blog is training ground for my writing skills and hopefully, future book. It is also my creative release. It's mine. Writing what someone else wants you to write is work, and should be rewarded accordingly.

8:30 AM  
Anonymous Jackie said...

Chris,
I also read your blog everyday! I really never post a comment, but I had to this time. I think you are so bright, and warm and personable! You write what I think, but just wouldn't be able to put together in such a succintly funny way. You definately give a voice to us mothers (especially those of us with ALOT of kids), and show us that we are not the only "loonies" out there! I would love to read anything that you'd put together, whether it's a collection or a novel. You really have a talent!

9:07 AM  
Blogger Lilly said...

I think your book is already done. If you take your favorite posts and put 'em together into a book they'll sell a million copies. Not everyone has found your blog on-line yet and they can find it in a best selling book! And you can publish it in volumes.... But I'll bet that the publishers would want you to stop blogging and giving your treasure away for free and that would be a huge loss to all of us who visit every day.... umm so never mind about this idea....

9:28 AM  
Anonymous Carola said...

Chris, you should definitely write that book!! it is going to be hard, but you have more will and heart than anyone I've known, and I know it only by reading your blog. I have been trying to write my thesis for 3 years, and still haven't been able to finish. Now I have a 4-month old baby (yes, only ONE) and I'm struggling even more. As I've told you before, I read your blog every day because it gives me energy and it inspires me. I always tell myself "if she can get all these things done with 7 kids, then I should be able to finish my thesis!"...although I must admit that sometimes I feel jealous of you and your accomplishments...but in a good way. I wish you the best!

9:34 AM  
Anonymous Mir said...

First, how lucky to have such wise friends. ;)

Second, when you're ready, you'll do it. You are inching ever-closer to ready and I daresay this experience may have been the tipping point. So be sure to thank them in the acknowledgements when the book comes out. (I'm working on the GrudgeHolder shirts RIGHT NOW...)

9:44 AM  
Blogger Caren said...

Chris,
Wow, what can I say that hasn't been said already? First of all, I adore your writing. I am not creative at all (which is why I rarely post a comment), but if I had a fraction of what you have I would be grateful. I found your blog awhile back and became hooked. (Then, of course, I had to go back to the beginning and read every single blog you have posted, here and at dotmoms.) Second, I am so happy for you. I have realized with my son that a great deal of the time he teaches me something, instead of me teaching him. Sometimes we have to take our own advice. Third, I would also pre-order a copies of your book, for every woman in my family. I think your writing is so important to mothers. We're behind you all the way!!!

10:26 AM  
Blogger Kristen said...

You are definitely a writer. And you can do it...you ARE doing it. Good for you for not accepting the unacceptable.

10:49 AM  
Anonymous Darren said...

You might have noticed that I recently wrote about going into therapy on my blog, and now I'm kind of wondering I just don't come to you. You'd give me a fellow blogger discount, right?

11:15 AM  
Blogger Meg said...

You are a writer and you can do it.

1:27 PM  
Blogger halloweenlover said...

Good for you, Chris. If it was a lousy offer, you shouldn't have taken it. You deserve so much more!

I agree with all the above posters. You are a writer, a damn good one. And I'll preorder your book too!

3:46 PM  
Blogger peepnroosmom said...

Chris,
You are a terrific writer. I read your blog religiously. I would definitely buy your book. You make me either laugh hysterically, cry or think about everyting you write. Not just anybody can express themselves that way. But like Tammy said, not stop your blog or I will go into withdrawals, too :-)

4:07 PM  
Anonymous Sleeping Mommy said...

Yes you can, and thanks for standing up for the rest of the writers out there.

5:57 PM  
Blogger The Daring One said...

You are an amazing writer. You can most certainly do it and I will drop-kick those people for you.

7:03 PM  
Blogger EvaRob said...

I got your back, absolutely.

1:05 AM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Good luck at the plate, Chris the excellent writer! And I'm still waiting for the funny-faced pic of your son in his baseball team photo!

1:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do it when you are ready, Chris! You are an excellent writer! If I could write like you, I'd try to get my stuff published! Thanks for the laughs....I recently discovered you and I have laughed more at your insight and take on life than I have ever laughed, I mean laughing like I can't stop, my husband has to see what is wrong with me...is she choking on her food, what? I think he's used to me laughing in here now. Yeah, it's the lady with the 7 kids, she's great! It makes my day, that's for sure!

2:08 AM  
Anonymous Maddy said...

It amazes me how we adults only need one small reason to say *I can't* but we tell our kids *they can* and we expect them to do so.

YOU CAN DO IT CHRIS AND YOU WILL DO IT.

PS: I sent my 10 year old off to training tonight chanting the mantra, he too has been troubled at the plate. THANKS!

4:52 AM  
Blogger Cheerio's on my butt? said...

Yeah, you are a wonderful writer! My husband said your blog is great and he enjoyed reading it! And if you knew how much he hates the word "blog" much less reading them then you would know how great you are!

8:22 AM  
Blogger Jody said...

Stand your ground. You are a writer and a damn good one at that!

10:28 AM  
Blogger Julie said...

Chris, just write the damn book. Or finish it. You ARE a writer, you know it deep down, and this blog freakin' PROVES it.

3:22 PM  
Blogger Kris said...

I am so glad you told them that. So. Glad.

And yes, you are a fantabulous writer, one who doesn't need to make up words like "fantabulous" to make her point...

9:38 PM  
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Blogger mario said...

Your subconscious mind is a powerful force. It can be an un-defeatable ally or a dangerous foe! It is a powerful force of nature that can be harnessed and made to work for us or it can be a wild beast that runs riot with our lives.
How powerful is 'powerful'?

Take the first Atomic Bomb - it could lay waste to an entire city in seconds. Or the gravitational pull of the Sun which stops our tiny planet from hurtling into space. Imagine the power of a black hole - that region of spacetime from which nothing can escape not even light travelling at 186 thousand miles a second. The Universe is full of powerful forces. Yet, all these wondrous things pale into insignificance when compared to the power of the subconscious mind.

The subconscious part of your mind is that part which regulates your heartbeat, lungs, digestive system and everything else in your body. It directs the inner workings of your body and such things as (what biologists call) 'machines' - tiny living cells that are composed of motors, drive-shafts and propellers - seriously!!! There is mounting evidence that the cells in our bodies have memory and that our very DNA is coded with memories of our ancestors. As well as having full control of all these functions and more your subconscious also retains all the thoughts, experiences and emotions you have ever felt. It regulates the most complicated mechanism in the unknown Universe - your body - and it can calculate the trajectory of multiple moving objects while supplying you with the words necessary to debate an issue while controlling a complex task of activities such as driving a car!
These tasks alone show how powerful the subconscious mind is. But it is much more powerful than that!

The truth is: No-one knows the limits of the subconscious mind's power!

Tell yourself that you will wake up at 6 a.m. and chances are you will awake. Go to a crowed party and through a mass of voices you will hear someone at the other side of the room mention your name! Set a problem aside and miraculously, out of nowhere, the answer comes while you are involved in another task. It recreates situations in your life that correspond to your beliefs. Time and time again you find yourself in the same situations, with similar partners, in almost identical jobs. Like a wheel your subconscious mind creates situations that bring your life back to the same spot.
Likewise it can totally transform your life - even overnight! It can bring you new situations, life experiences, luxuries and even people.

However, it is like a na�ve child or a better analogy is that of a computer. It believes everything that you tell it. Your conscious mind is the gatekeeper. Anything you think with complete faith is immediately past to the subconscious mind - which it then takes as literal fact. There will be no arguments because it has no discriminating capabilities.
Although your subconscious mind is more powerful than you can possibly imagine it is a mere servant. It is at your disposal. YOU are in charge. It acts just like a computer and like every computer it needs software to run. So if you do not program it then someone else will! You are constantly being bombarded with software programs for the mind every minute of everyday. Buy this product and you will look slim, drive this car and you will seem sexy, drink this potion and you will feel more vibrant about life. You are told what to buy and when to buy it, when you are too young to do a thing and when you are too old. You are told what is possible and what is not. Snap out of it!
Take back your control over mind and body. You were born with the most powerful computer system known to man - a bio-computer that regulates a sophisticated, highly flexible, changeable, self repairing vehicle. You are amazing, a true miracle. If you bought a new top of the range diesel Mercedes would you let Joe or Sue down the road fill it up with petrol?
Begin to think for yourself. Who told you that you could not achieve your dreams? Do you believe it? Who told you that you were too fat, too skinny, too stupid, too smart, too young or too old?

Does it matter?

No! Because you are and always have been in total control. Change your thinking and you will change your subconscious beliefs. Change your subconscious beliefs and you will change your life. subliminal

3:28 AM  
Blogger cylon said...

Visualization is a tool that has been used for thousands of years by initiates of all the metaphysical schools. Today, it is incorporated into top athlete's daily routines and is used in business affairs frequently. It's use is wide-spread among highly successful people, either consciously or unconsciously, aware of its create power. So if it has stood the test of time and is still being used by high achievers we must come to the conclusion that it works! But has it ever worked for you?

If you answered 'yes' to the above question then you know how powerful this technique can be. If, on the other hand, you gave the more likely answer 'no' then take heart for I am about to reveal to you a sure fire way of reaching your objectives through this mostly misunderstood art.

The trouble with visualization is simple - its in its name!

When studying and contemplating the art of visualization most people have the impression that they must create visual images and make them real or life-like. Many people, in fact the majority, find this almost impossible to do. Even if they can formulate a solid picture of their objective they find it extremely difficult to sustain the image for any length of time. Either the image fades, changes or other intruding thoughts intervene.

This type of visualization is almost impossible to sustain and luckily it is not at all necessary. Why? Because it is in the subconscious mind that your visualization needs to be placed and there is good news. The subconscious mind does not know the difference between an imaginary event and a real one. Your visual image only needs to be a strong visually as any other imagined event. However, that is only half the story.

If all you had to do was just imagine stuff and your world automatically changed to reflect your imaginings this world would be full of chaos (not to mention all those creepy crawly bug-eyed monsters!). Therefore, there are a few more steps to complete before the visualization is passed to the subconscious for manifestation.

Let's try a little experiment. Remember a scene from your past that has a lot of good feelings around it. Any good memory will do, like the first time you heard the words "I love you" from your partner, an amazingly spectacular sunset, a great holiday event or your last birthday. Pick one and remember it. How clear is the image? Can you remember any sounds? What way did you feel? Is there any sense of touch, taste or smell? Identify how your memory works. Is it mostly visual, auditory, kinaesthetic or of a feeling nature?

Now we are going to create an imagined event in our lives that has the same strength and potency as that image. So relax and let's go.

Imagine something that you do everyday, something that you did yesterday, today and will do tomorrow. Let us take the example of waking up tomorrow morning. Don't try to add or take anything away, just think about it and analyse the scene. Is it dark or light? Are you lying next to someone in bed? Do you still feel tired? Has the alarm clock sounded? Are you irritable that you have to get up or full of joy at the dawn of a new day?

You will find that the imagined event is very similar to the memory with probably one key difference - your point of perspective. Is the memory behind you and the future event in front of you? Is one to the left and one to the right? Maybe they are both in front of you or the future seems to move in a clockwise direction. Whatever the perspective the thing to notice is that they are very similar in appearance.

Now imagine doing your future event a week from now, then a month from now, then six months from now. Where are those images placed? Are they moving further away, going clockwise, from left to right? This is your time-line and using it is important in visualization as you will see later.

Ok, let's imagine something that is very unlikely to happen and see where it differs from the last image.

Imagine you are sitting somewhere familiar which is extremely comfortable and relaxing to you. Now imagine that a person you know well comes up to where you are and says "hello". Imagine them telling you that they want to show you a new trick. All of a sudden they have three juggling balls. They throw them in the air and begin to juggle with ease. Then they begin to whistle one of your favourite tunes. You suddenly realize that there is a strong smell of flowers in the room and notice a vase of them just behind the juggler. Imagine laughing loudly at the scene and feeling joyful at the experience. Then the person juggling leans forward stands on leg and puts the other leg outstretched behind them. All the while still juggling and whistling. Then they begin to hop on their leg as a small bird flies over to perch on their head. Once you have the imagined event and stayed with it a few moments just let it fade.

Ok open your eyes. What was the difference between the two images? Can you spot any? Did you use more, less or roughly the same senses in your fantasy event as you did in the future one? Did you see them from different angles? Was the picture bigger in one than the other? Was the sound clearer, the feelings more acute or the smell stronger? Take some time and go back to each scene in your mind. How does the future event differ from the fantasy one? Are you looking at both from a different vantage point? Do you see yourself in the image of one but not the other? Analyse the scenes and see where they differ.

Have you identified how the future event differs from the fantasy one? If you have then its time to make visualization work for you! Take a goal that you have been working on or would like to achieve. Nothing too far-fetched at this point please! Pick something that is possible but at the moment seems a little impractical. Once you have it form a mental image of what it would be like to have, be or do that thing or be in that experience. Remember to form it the same way you do a memory. Give it the same strength visually, in sound, feeling, taste and touch - use your mind in its natural state. All you have to do is imagine the scene.

Ok how does it differ from the scene of waking in the morning? Can you identify the differences in perspective, sound, taste, touch, feelings and what you hear?

Now there will be one other key thing that differs in the images- it is very simple but often overlooked. You know that the future event is going to happen! This is reflected in the way we experience the image. So what we are going to do is fool your subconscious mind into thinking your goal is definitely going to happen by manipulating your goal image!

Once you know what the differences are in each image begin to change the goal image so that it is seen the same way as the future event in your imagination. Place the visualized scene in exactly the same position with the same perspective as your future event.

Place it in the correct position on your time-line. You may already begin to feel that the goal is more possible. Visualise in this way everyday and you will condition your subconscious mind to manifest the experiences necessary to make your goal attainment certain.

One more thing to remember: During the day think about your goal often. This reinforces the visualization and will begin to dispel doubt from your mind. personal development

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Anonymous personal development said...

Visualization is a tool that has been used for thousands of years by initiates of all the metaphysical schools. Today, it is incorporated into top athlete's daily routines and is used in business affairs frequently. It's use is wide-spread among highly successful people, either consciously or unconsciously, aware of its create power. So if it has stood the test of time and is still being used by high achievers we must come to the conclusion that it works! But has it ever worked for you?

If you answered 'yes' to the above question then you know how powerful this technique can be. If, on the other hand, you gave the more likely answer 'no' then take heart for I am about to reveal to you a sure fire way of reaching your objectives through this mostly misunderstood art.

The trouble with visualization is simple - its in its name!

When studying and contemplating the art of visualization most people have the impression that they must create visual images and make them real or life-like. Many people, in fact the majority, find this almost impossible to do. Even if they can formulate a solid picture of their objective they find it extremely difficult to sustain the image for any length of time. Either the image fades, changes or other intruding thoughts intervene.

This type of visualization is almost impossible to sustain and luckily it is not at all necessary. Why? Because it is in the subconscious mind that your visualization needs to be placed and there is good news. The subconscious mind does not know the difference between an imaginary event and a real one. Your visual image only needs to be a strong visually as any other imagined event. However, that is only half the story.

If all you had to do was just imagine stuff and your world automatically changed to reflect your imaginings this world would be full of chaos (not to mention all those creepy crawly bug-eyed monsters!). Therefore, there are a few more steps to complete before the visualization is passed to the subconscious for manifestation.

Let's try a little experiment. Remember a scene from your past that has a lot of good feelings around it. Any good memory will do, like the first time you heard the words "I love you" from your partner, an amazingly spectacular sunset, a great holiday event or your last birthday. Pick one and remember it. How clear is the image? Can you remember any sounds? What way did you feel? Is there any sense of touch, taste or smell? Identify how your memory works. Is it mostly visual, auditory, kinaesthetic or of a feeling nature?

Now we are going to create an imagined event in our lives that has the same strength and potency as that image. So relax and let's go.

Imagine something that you do everyday, something that you did yesterday, today and will do tomorrow. Let us take the example of waking up tomorrow morning. Don't try to add or take anything away, just think about it and analyse the scene. Is it dark or light? Are you lying next to someone in bed? Do you still feel tired? Has the alarm clock sounded? Are you irritable that you have to get up or full of joy at the dawn of a new day?

You will find that the imagined event is very similar to the memory with probably one key difference - your point of perspective. Is the memory behind you and the future event in front of you? Is one to the left and one to the right? Maybe they are both in front of you or the future seems to move in a clockwise direction. Whatever the perspective the thing to notice is that they are very similar in appearance.

Now imagine doing your future event a week from now, then a month from now, then six months from now. Where are those images placed? Are they moving further away, going clockwise, from left to right? This is your time-line and using it is important in visualization as you will see later.

Ok, let's imagine something that is very unlikely to happen and see where it differs from the last image.

Imagine you are sitting somewhere familiar which is extremely comfortable and relaxing to you. Now imagine that a person you know well comes up to where you are and says "hello". Imagine them telling you that they want to show you a new trick. All of a sudden they have three juggling balls. They throw them in the air and begin to juggle with ease. Then they begin to whistle one of your favourite tunes. You suddenly realize that there is a strong smell of flowers in the room and notice a vase of them just behind the juggler. Imagine laughing loudly at the scene and feeling joyful at the experience. Then the person juggling leans forward stands on leg and puts the other leg outstretched behind them. All the while still juggling and whistling. Then they begin to hop on their leg as a small bird flies over to perch on their head. Once you have the imagined event and stayed with it a few moments just let it fade.

Ok open your eyes. What was the difference between the two images? Can you spot any? Did you use more, less or roughly the same senses in your fantasy event as you did in the future one? Did you see them from different angles? Was the picture bigger in one than the other? Was the sound clearer, the feelings more acute or the smell stronger? Take some time and go back to each scene in your mind. How does the future event differ from the fantasy one? Are you looking at both from a different vantage point? Do you see yourself in the image of one but not the other? Analyse the scenes and see where they differ.

Have you identified how the future event differs from the fantasy one? If you have then its time to make visualization work for you! Take a goal that you have been working on or would like to achieve. Nothing too far-fetched at this point please! Pick something that is possible but at the moment seems a little impractical. Once you have it form a mental image of what it would be like to have, be or do that thing or be in that experience. Remember to form it the same way you do a memory. Give it the same strength visually, in sound, feeling, taste and touch - use your mind in its natural state. All you have to do is imagine the scene.

Ok how does it differ from the scene of waking in the morning? Can you identify the differences in perspective, sound, taste, touch, feelings and what you hear?

Now there will be one other key thing that differs in the images- it is very simple but often overlooked. You know that the future event is going to happen! This is reflected in the way we experience the image. So what we are going to do is fool your subconscious mind into thinking your goal is definitely going to happen by manipulating your goal image!

Once you know what the differences are in each image begin to change the goal image so that it is seen the same way as the future event in your imagination. Place the visualized scene in exactly the same position with the same perspective as your future event.

Place it in the correct position on your time-line. You may already begin to feel that the goal is more possible. Visualise in this way everyday and you will condition your subconscious mind to manifest the experiences necessary to make your goal attainment certain.

One more thing to remember: During the day think about your goal often. This reinforces the visualization and will begin to dispel doubt from your mind. hypnosis

11:48 PM  
Blogger hypnosis said...

Many people try to achieve goals. Most fail. Some strive, work hard and plan for all the details yet they achieve little or nothing at all. Others strive, work hard, plan and achieve huge success. Yet there are a few individuals who do little else than take small steps and seem to achieve a great deal with what seems like effortlessness. What is the difference between these people and which one would you like to be?
Most members of the human race fall into two categories - those who live in the past and those who live in the future. Most live in the past. Many of these are the people who achieve very little in their lives and are so fearful of the future that they dare not strike out to get anything. They are the under-achievers who hang onto bad episodes in their lives and either relive them time and again or look at new situations as similar potentialities. They say things like "all men are deceivers" or "all women are interested in is money" or "I can't do it. I tried before and it didn't work so why bother!". Due to bad experiences in the past they believe that all future events will turn out the same way if they dare to go after what they want.
The other type of person lives in the future. This type tends to create more of the things they want in life. They have a vision of where they want to go and exactly how they are going to get there. They work diligently at making concrete plans and they pursue those plans with a persistent ferocious appetite for success. These people are the high achievers - The Richard Branson and Bill Gates of the world. These people have much to teach us about setting and achieving goals.
However, there is a third type of person who almost goes unnoticed. They are the person who takes life in its stride and yet achieve most of what they want. I am sure you know of such a person in your life that just seems to saunter through life and yet they always come out on top. Or a person who you hear of that has decided to open a shop. You meet them a few months later and they have three shops all doing well! So what makes these people so successful and if they aren't living in the past and aren't living in the future where are they living?
I suppose you guessed it! Whether they are consciously aware of it or not they are living in the present. It is in the 'living' present that we have our greatest power. Everything happens in the present. You live your entire life there - even if your mind does not!

By becoming more aware of the present and by 'accepting' it as it is we are much more in control of our emotions and focus. When we live in the past we are fearful of making bad choices and/or getting hurt. We do not wish to recreate the past again! When we live in the future we can also be fearful of what might happen. But even if your future vision is full of power and worthy of working towards many people can, and often do, get stuck there. By constantly reaching for bigger and better goals they fail to enjoy what they have in the moment.
If you wish to start living a life that is almost effortless begin first by living in the present. Accept your situation the way it is and then you can enjoy what you have. Your focus changes from a memory of what was or a vision of what might be to a realization of what is. You become much more empowered to then see the beauty of life and also look at where you wish to make changes. But to make changes you must first accept the situation as it is. Trying to escape from your present only increases your focus on your problems by creating resistance to what is. Accept your life as it is now. Make no judgement, just accept it and then you will be free of doubt, worry, pain and fear. For you only experience these things when you live outside the 'moment'. Hypnosis

4:05 AM  
Anonymous personal development said...

I am sure you have heard the song "Karma Chameleon" by Culture Club but have you ever given much thought to its meaning? While on Earth, you are living in a world of reincarnation which is governed by the law of karma. Karma begins to propel you as Soul on a personal journey through the universe. Karma ends when you have reached enlightenment and fully realise that this physical reality and the Universe itself is just an illusion. When you reach a state of knowingness that there is but One all pervading essence and that essence or consciousness is You!
So what is Karma and how does it work? While in the illusion you have a soul. This soul lives past, present, and future lives. To grow in love, joy, and awareness, you reincarnate into a series of physical bodies to experience different existences. This road leads to the experiences of being both sexes, all races, religions, and ethnic types throughout many lifetimes.
Karma in its simplicist terms can be described by the biblical statement "as you sow, so also shall you reap". Karma is the principle of cause and effect, action and reaction, total cosmic justice and personal responsibility. It brings 'good' experiences as well as 'bad' - a debt must be repaid and a blessing rewarded.

A more indepth esoteric look at karma gives us the following distinctions: Sanchita Karma: the accumulated result of all your actions from all your past lifetimes. This is your total cosmic debt. Every moment of every day either you are adding to it or you are reducing this cosmic debt. Prarabdha Karma: the portion of your "sanchita" karma being worked on in the present life. If you work down your agreed upon debt in this lifetime, then more past debts surface to be worked on. Agami Karma: the portion of actions in the present life that add to your "sanchita" karma. If you fail to work off your debt, then more debts are added to "sanchita" karma and are sent to future lives. Kriyamana Karma: daily, instant karma created in this life that is worked off immediately. These are debts that are created and worked off - ie. you do wrong, you get caught and you spend time in jail.
As a soul, you experience a constant cycle of births and deaths with a series of bodies for the purpose of experiencing this illusionary world gaining spiritual insights into your own true nature until the totality of all experiences show you Who you really are - the I AM! Until you have learned, you will find that pretending that the rules of karma do not exist or trying to escape the consequences of your actions is futile.
Although it may often "feel" like punishment, the purpose of karma is to teach not to punish. Often the way we learn is to endure the same type of suffering that we have inflicted on others and also rexperience circumstances until we learn to change our thinking and attitudes.

We are all here to learn lessons as spiritual beings in human form. These lessons are designed to help us grow into greater levels of love, joy, and awareness. They teach us our true nature of love. Where we do not choose love, show forgiveness, teach tolerance, or display compassion, karma intervenes to put us back on the path of these lessons. Quite simply, the only way to achieve a state of karmic balance is to be love.
Before you incarnated into your present personality, you agreed to put yourself in the path of all that is you need to learn. Once you got here, you agreed to forget this. Karma is impersonal and has the same effect for everyone. It is completely fair in its workings and it is predictable - "do onto others as you would have them do unto you" is a way to ensure peace and tranquillity in your own life as well as the lives of those you come into contact with. The law of karma is predictable - "as you sow, so shall you reap" what is done to you is the net result of what you have done to others!
Karma gives you the opportunity at every moment to become a better person than you are and to open up to the realization that you are the master of your own fate.

The goal of karma is to give you all the experiences that you need to evolve into greater levels of love, joy, awareness, and responsibility. Karma teaches that you are totally responsible for the circumstances of your life. They keep you on the straight and narrow until you have mastered your vehicle and can ride freely on your own. Once you understand that you are the master of your own circumstances and that everything you experience is a direct result of your past actions due to your thinking and emotional responses you can overcome its seeming negative effects by creating only 'good' karma.
Karma forces us to look beyond ourselves (oneness) so that we can see ourselves as we truly are Whole, Complete, at One with everything. Once we truly understand ourselves, we can see our divinity and our unity with all life.
Karma drives us to service. Love means service. Once you accept total responsibility for your life, you see yourself as a soul in service to God. Once you do, you become a fully realized being, allowing God to experience the illusion through you.
Belief in karma and an understanding of its workings will lead you to a life of bliss. Only your own deeds can hinder you. Until the time comes when we release ourselves from our own self-imposed shackles of limitation and fully understand who and what we are we will live under the mantle of karma. So until that day why not create some wonderful experiences for ourselves by "doing onto others, as we would have them do unto us". self hypnosis

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